A conversation that Ben and I had before we even dated was that kids were really important to us. Ben comes from a family of 6 kids and I come from 2. Over the last two years, seeing babies join families and the toll it can take on a family, Ben and I have had more serious conversations about what we want our family dynamic to look like.
Before I start this post though, I want to say that this post is for future me. I want to constantly be reminded of lessons that other Moms and Dads have told me about that I can learn from before I have my own children (I am not saying these are the answers to parenting).
Simple. Simple is defined as easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty. I would love to live a simple life when it came to my kids. I know it is near impossible but I want to strive to be simple and here is how I want to try...
Toys. If I am being honest, I wish my kids would never have toys. I wish they would have a childhood like mine where the forest was there to build forts and hunt animals. I wish they had a lake that they could use as their swimming pool and a piece of grass to have picnics on. The older I have gotten, the less meaningful my toys have become to me. When I look into the future, I don't want to fill my kids room with crap. I am firm believer in 1 toy box per kid. This box doesn't include books, legos (building blocks), board games, or dollhouses. This means that in your box, you can keep your stuffed animals, babies, cars, little people, and whatever doesn't fit in your box, it is time for it to find a new home. Ideally, there is no reason that those toys can't be donated to another family or the thrift store. When it comes to toys, I want it to be less is more.
Failure. So far one of my greatest lessons that I can take away from watching parents is that no one is perfect. Kids have bad days just like you and I do. When this happens, there is only one thing that is going to get you through the day, prayer. God is in control, he will help you through it. He never said it was going to be easy, but he will help you push through. Those are the days when it is a good reminder that crying is ok. Go get a coffee, take a breather, and remember who is in control.
Anger. Monkey See, Monkey Do. I do not want my children to learn from me that anger is the answer. This is a lesson that I need to learn from myself. This is something that a child could pick up on very easily and I pray that in those moments, I find myself not raising my voice, not showing anger through my action, but disciple with peace and love. Does this mean that I'm never going to yell? No. Does this mean that I'm not going to get angry? No. The point of this is that I don't want my kids to see anger as an answer but I want them to know it is a feeling and how to properly deal with it.
I hope as the years go on to add to this post. These aren't the answers and someday I will probably look back on this and giggle or chuckle but I don't want to regret not learning the lessons from the people around me. Moms and Dads have a tough job and I hope to someday find joy in the tough days that are ahead. Until that day comes, I pray for guidance and preparations for how I want my kids to see me.
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