Our Wedding Day

As a teenager, I remember praying so many times for the man I would marry. I remember being specific about little things but my main goal was to find someone that loved Jesus.

When Ben and I would talk wedding details, which was quite often, we wanted the main focus  of the day to be Jesus. We wanted the message, the worship, and our marriage to represent Him.

I was so thankful for the people who reminded me that the day won't be perfect. I went into the day with a "it is what it is" mindset but it was far beyond our expectations. There is nothing I regret from the day, just a few hiccups, but that is ok. My marriage is way more important that just one day.

Ben and I would like to keep our wedding photos off social media, but I just want to share a few of my favorites... 

I had the best flower girl ever. She wanted to be a part of everything all day and I loved how involved she was! She did her hair and make up with all the girls and didn't miss a beat when it came to photos. One shot that I really wanted, was her in my dress. Someday when she meets the one that we are praying for, I want to give her this photo and for her to know that she was always fit to be a bride.The ring bearer did his job all day and danced ALL night. Thank goodness that his best friend, Don, was there! He was a blast!

 If you know anything about Ben, you'll know that he knows everyone. When we talked about how big of a wedding party, I wanted 3 bridesmaids, maybe 4. Well he really wanted all of his buddies to be there and guess what, they all were. Thankfully he has three sisters or I would have had to rent friends for a day. Looking back on the day, I'm so glad that I had each and every one of my bridesmaids. I couldn't imagine the day without them but yes, I know, we had a huge wedding party.

When planning the wedding, I was dreading the cost of flowers. In high school, my Mom made my flowers for prom one year and I loved them. So, why can't we make our flowers for the wedding? I love lilies and I really wanted them to be the flower for the wedding but they are very expensive and they are not in season in January... Thanks to a creative Mom and a very patient maid of honor, we were able to make over 50 boutonnieres and over 10 bouquets out of old hymnals.

I grew up planning my wedding on Pinterest and if you looked on my wedding board, you would see very simple wedding rings. I always wanted a plain band with a single stone. Well when I got engaged and it was exactly what I wanted! My Pinterest dream came true! I was so happy. For my wedding band, I wanted just a plain band. However, my Mom and Ben had a different plan. My great grandmother gave my mom diamond earring and my Mom said I can have them when I get my ears pierced. Well I'm 24 and still don't have them pierced and don't plan to anytime soon. So, my Mom asked Ben if he would like to use them as the stones around my engagement stone. So the picture of the hands is 4 generations of Young, Werelius, Bursell, and now Boettcher marriages. I didn't want anything fancy but I will always treasure having my Great Grandmothers stones on my hand.

The last photo is one that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Ben and I were very honored and thankful that all of our Grandparents could be at our wedding. Thanks to these eight individuals and four marriages, Ben and I were born. They raised amazing sons and daughters who raised us. They raised all of us in a church, to love Jesus, and always live for him. We couldn't be more thankful for this photo.

At then end of the day, it was all about Jesus and it always should be. If you want to see the rest of the photos, come over for dinner and Ben and I would love to show them all to you.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

1 Peter 4:8

A letter to my Husband

Today we become one.

God says in Genesis 2:24, "This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they come one." Today we start a new journey as the Boettcher Family.

I can't say that I knew from day one, maybe day 4 or 5, that you were it, but God knew. He took our stubborn personalities and made sure that we kept pursuing each other.

With all my heart, I believe that at DQ that night, He did it, not me. I remember that night I put a quote on Twitter from We Bought a Zoo. I seriously wonder what would have happened if I wouldn't have said anything.

On days when I doubt, I just have to think about the time that we spent apart and the moment when we reunited, it all became worth it. You are worth it. 

The craziest thing that has even happened to me is happening today. We aren't just getting married, we are displaying a marriage that was worth every mile, every minute, every prayer. 

Before you, I didn't understand love. I didn't understand how you can love one person so much. You are the most caring, passionate, and joyful person and you bring out the absolute best in me. I love your smile, the warmth of your hands, your laugh, the way you always make me feel special, the way you fry bacon (it's the best), and the way you love Jesus. 

Since I was little girl, I prayed for the man that I was going to marry. I knew he would have to love Jesus and always strive to put Him first. I pray that through marriage, we are able to grow closer to each other, but also that we grow closer to God. I pray that in the rough times, we are reminded that the same person who created us made the mountains and knows how many drops of water are in the oceans. 

You are my best friend.

I trust you.

I'm praying for you.

I have loved you for 970 days and this is just the beginning. 

I love you.

(the almost) 

Mrs. Deanna Boettcher

Satan

When I wake up in the morning I sometimes have a very pessimistic view of how my day is going to go. This last Sunday proved true but it was because I was focused on the negative and not the positive. The verse "find joy in all circumstances" has been a struggle for me lately. However, when I think about that verse it always gives me a reason to be thankful for the day.

Sunday, January 8th, 2017. 19 days until the wedding.

5:30am Our youth pastor gets a text from our lead pastor that he is sick and that he won't be able to preach today. Our youth pastor had just over an hour to prepare a sermon, get all of his notes into computers at two different campuses, and then prepare to preach at 8:45, 9:30, 10:15, and 11:00. Satan tried hard to ruin this Sunday but nothing was going to stop us. Our youth pastor nailed the sermon and was on time to all 4 services!

6:00am My close friend was on her way to work and she decided to stop for coffee. As she pulled onto the highway, her window wouldn't shut. She either had to drive 45 minutes in -7 degrees or go home and risk being late for work. She opted to go home and was 1 minute late for work. Once again Satan tried, but she made it to work safe and warm.

8:00am Eggs are not my favorite food. They tend to make my stomach all wonky and they just don't sit well with me. Well, for breakfast I made an egg and I like it scrambled, no runny yolk. I made my bagel with mustard and sausage and finished it with my egg. My first bite, yolk went everywhere... now there is yolk running down my arm and into my lap. However, I had a meal in front of me and I left the house with a full belly. I have nothing to complain about.

9:30am Ben and I decided to attend first service at the new campus so that we could serve second service. We sat down and began to worship. Between the first and second song our worship leader talked about how Satan has no hold on us. He started the second song and bam, one of his guitar strings broke. He managed to play the whole music set (4 songs) without a string and not even show a single sign of panic. Satan tried but we didn't let him in. We were there to worship God and we did. That room was so filled with the Spirit, nothing stopped us.

11:00am Ben and I served second service in the children's area. We started with 1 girl who was quiet but slowly opened up and was a blast by the end of the hour. By the time service started we had 4 girls, Ben was very out numbered. There was one young girl that started to drive me a little crazy. She wouldn't let go of her stuffed animal. It wasn't a big deal until we started coloring with markers and it was everywhere. I wasn't sure how to go about telling her to put her animal away because I understood that at her age it was probably a security blanket. However, this little animal was driving me nuts. It was being thrown around the room, being chewed on, and was a huge distraction to the rest of the class. After taking a deep breath and preparing for the next activity, I asked her to put the animal in the her box so that it doesn't get ruined and she can use both hands for the activity. Without hesitating, she flung it into her box and we went about our morning.

Something as small as a stuffed animal or guitar string could have ruined a moment or situation. But there was someone on our side all morning, God. Satan is real. He is out to seek and destroy, but with God all things are possible. In the end, the morning was beautiful and Satan didn't win. God did.

My Year in Review

Ben and I kicked the year off in Vermillion, Minnesota with our friends. After dealing with a broken vehicle and an ice fishing auger that didn't want to cooperate, we finally got to fish in the freezing cold conditions. We didn't catch a single fish, but we enjoyed the company of one another. We also got to celebrate my college graduation with all my close friends from church! It was a long 4.5 years but it was all worth it!

Who had their taxes done in February? THIS GIRL! I was extremely happy to have them done and over with. I was fortunate enough to get a return and was able to pay off my car and put a big chunk towards student loans! It was extremely exciting! Ben and I also got to go on a date to the World's Toughest Rodeo with some friends and then a few short weeks later I got the privilege to go to my first Wild game! It was a nail biter and was definitly the highlight of my month!

I started March by attending the Minnesota RollerGirls with friends. Ben was gone for 3 weeks at training for the Army so while he was gone, Kristen, Lydia, Lizzy, and I decided to redo/repaint Ben's house. In doing so we managed to break a toilet and a gas line. Ben may never trust me to watch his house again...  At the end of the month we celebrated my golden birthday and I received one of the best presents ever, a Mossberg International Silver Reserve II Field Over/Under 12 Gauge Shotgun.

In April, Ben and I discovered we both love trap shooting. This is the first hobby that we both enjoy and we can do it together! We also spent a weekend in Duluth relaxing and touring some of the breweries along the North Shore with friends. We finished up the month by attending a life changing concert. Hillsong headlined along with Kari Jobe and it was absolutely amazing to feel the spirit move in such a huge stadium.

I will never forget May. The family that I nanny for was expecting their 4th baby and she was already an amazing miracle. After going through a rough delivery for both Mom and Baby, I was able to hold Miss Faith and look into the eyes of a true miracle. I have never felt so many emotions in one moment. She was a perfect addition to the family. At the end of the month, Ben, my parents, and I were able to travel out to Maryland and see friends. It was extremely fun to see everyone and we are already looking forward to going back sometime next October.

Summer was busy. It was full of trips to Taylors Falls, the Zoo, the county fair, the Minnesota State Fair, and camping trips. In July, we remodeled Ben's kitchen, as well as went on our first motorcycle ride with hundreds of other people. We attended Hogs of Heroes and it was extremely fun! We also went to the Isanti County Rodeo and it was stinking hot.

In September, I got to experience the feeling of not having a first day of school, which in all honesty was pretty weird. I felt like I was missing something. I got the honor to attend the Orange Conference in Minneapolis for an evening and it was so amazing. I left with the knowledge and resources to becoming a better and stronger leader. We finished up the month by going to an apple orchard and enjoying apple cider donuts, my favorite.

October was a month of firsts. I was able to represent New Hope Community Church at a Teen Challenge Church Fair, and I look forward to going back as much as possible! It was extremely exciting to be in a room with people who are on fire for God and are looking to be placed into a church. The next first was that BEN PROPOSED! I was extremely surprised as he caught me off guard one night after work! It was a wonderful surprise! The last first was that I discovered the Converse outlet store... In the future, that store is going to be trouble.

In November we made our first step towards making America great again! Every election is one to remember but I definitely won't forget this one. We celebrated Thanksgiving with family and of course, set up a Christmas tree. There were also thoughts of returning to school being thrown around.

December was nothing but busy. We celebrated Bens birthday along with a wedding shower. I'm still so thankful for everyone who has been encouraging during this crazy time of life. We just celebrated Christmas, which for me is always overwhelming. However, this year Ben made sure that he set time aside and I was so grateful for him this Christmas. He is the best present. We look forward to starting 2017 with another bang but this time we will be celebrating the year together as one!

Changes!

The last 56 days have been crazy and the next 50 are going to be even crazier. Ben and I got engaged on October 11th, and we will be getting married on January 27th. We will have been engaged for just over 100 days. Are we crazy? We sure are, but that is what makes this journey so exciting.

I believe that over time, we change. Sometimes we can change overnight, other times I think it take months, years, decades. In past blogs, I have talked about this but things continue to change and I want to document them for my own healing.

Touch is something that slowly I'm learning how to deal with. I have learned recently, thanks to Ben, I'm not much of a physical person. I'm ok having friends around the United States that aren't near me. I'm ok with cuddling up with a blanket alone. However when someone says, "Can I hug you?" My head says, "no" but my heart feels bad and says, "yes". Then I pay for it later.

Anxiety is a very complex word. It is defined as, "a feeling or worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome." Unease is the best way to describe this. It can be awkward, uncomfortable, and very difficult. This is how I feel after being in a physical situation.

I don't think this is a serious problem because over time it is already solving itself. For me, it helps to tell people. It helps to be real. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. For me, this is a no situation.

Prayer has been the biggest help. This is a problem that God can help me overcome. He is with me in those situations. He is the almighty healer. Even in the moments that I want to be alone and untouched, God has his arms around me.

When I have kids...

A conversation that Ben and I had before we even dated was that kids were really important to us. Ben comes from a family of 6 kids and I come from 2. Over the last two years, seeing babies join families and the toll it can take on a family, Ben and I have had more serious conversations about what we want our family dynamic to look like.

Before I start this post though, I want to say that this post is for future me. I want to constantly be reminded of lessons that other Moms and Dads have told me about that I can learn from before I have my own children (I am not saying these are the answers to parenting).

Simple. Simple is defined as easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty. I would love to live a simple life when it came to my kids. I know it is near impossible but I want to strive to be simple and here is how I want to try...

Toys. If I am being honest, I wish my kids would never have toys. I wish they would have a childhood like mine where the forest was there to build forts and hunt animals. I wish they had a lake that they could use as their swimming pool and a piece of grass to have picnics on. The older I have gotten, the less meaningful my toys have become to me. When I look into the future, I don't want to fill my kids room with crap. I am firm believer in 1 toy box per kid. This box doesn't include books, legos (building blocks), board games, or dollhouses. This means that in your box, you can keep your stuffed animals, babies, cars, little people, and whatever doesn't fit in your box, it is time for it to find a new home. Ideally, there is no reason that those toys can't be donated to another family or the thrift store. When it comes to toys, I want it to be less is more. 

Failure. So far one of my greatest lessons that I can take away from watching parents is that no one is perfect. Kids have bad days just like you and I do. When this happens, there is only one thing that is going to get you through the day, prayer. God is in control, he will help you through it. He never said it was going to be easy, but he will help you push through. Those are the days when it is a good reminder that crying is ok.  Go get a coffee, take a breather, and remember who is in control.

Anger. Monkey See, Monkey Do. I do not want my children to learn from me that anger is the answer. This is a lesson that I need to learn from myself. This is something that a child could pick up on very easily and I pray that in those moments, I find myself not raising my voice, not showing anger through my action, but disciple with peace and love. Does this mean that I'm never going to yell? No. Does this mean that I'm not going to get angry? No. The point of this is that I don't want my kids to see anger as an answer but I want them to know it is a feeling and how to properly deal with it.

I hope as the years go on to add to this post. These aren't the answers and someday I will probably look back on this and giggle or chuckle but I don't want to regret not learning the lessons from the people around me. Moms and Dads have a tough job and I hope to someday find joy in the tough days that are ahead. Until that day comes, I pray for guidance and preparations for how I want my kids to see me.

ISTJ

This past weekend reminded me that I am not the same person that I was five or six years ago. In high school, it was all about being social, discovering my feelings, and exploring my identity. This weekend, I shed tears because I just wanted to be alone. I kept thinking, "What is wrong with me?" Nothing is wrong, I've just changed.

The older I get, even though I'm only 23, I realize how introverted I am. Almost two years ago I took my Myers Briggs test and today I took it again. In two years I have changed in more than one way.

ISTJ: Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Thinking

This last holiday weekend was spent with many people. It was full of social interactions with friends, family, and church. These things are not bad but at the end of the day, I was holding back tears of anxiety. I ended up exploding on Ben, my trooper of a boyfriend, because I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want anyone to talk to me, touch me, or be anywhere near me.

After about 20 minutes, Ben's sweet voice said, "Can I talk to you now?" I wasn't mad at him, he didn't do anything to me, I was just done with people and I needed a little breather. That 20 minutes worked as a reset button. No longer would I get my energy from being around people but I would get my energy from being alone.

Now to explain the Extraverted Thinking... Oh Boy. Extraverted Thinking has a desire to control their environments, and can feel lost when they are not able to shape their own external world. A simpler definition is anal about their environment. I work best alone. However, if you ask my opinion on something, I will be brutally honest with you. I will tell you how I believe it should be and will stand firm on the ground I speak from.

This isn't always bad, but if I am talking to a very sensitive person, I can come across and a jerk. I've been told multiple times that I come across as a tough cookie to crack. This is exactly how I should start describing myself as.

I've also learning to let someone else do the talking and learn from them before I open my mouth. This is something that I hope to continue to learn from because it isn't always an easy task to do, especially when it comes to loved one.

So if you find yourself surrounding yourself with a ton of energy people, you can find me at home, in bed, enjoying a movie. If I am at work, don't be offended when I shut my door or leave the office to work from home.

I would encourage anyone who confused with their feeling or just interested in learning more about themselves to take this super short test. It might open your eyes...

https://www.16personalities.com