It Stops Now

Sometimes when I have writers block, it takes something major in my life to get me thinking. These last few weeks, I have felt like part of me was missing. I wasn't all here and it was bothering me. In the beginning of November I was able to attend church for the first time in a long time, and God showed me some major things. When I was home over Thanksgiving, I was also able to go to church and once again, God showed me something major that needed changing.

Growing up, I felt the need to impress those around me. Whether it was being extremely mature for my age, or graduating college, I felt the need to make sure people were impressed. The last few months, I have let things slide that I would have never let slide 1 year ago. Something in me changed. I lost sight of the prize. When people weren't around that I needed to impress, I changed who I was, and that is so wrong.

As I was listening to music on my phone, I normally skim through songs until I find an upbeat song. For some reason I started listening to Arms Open Wide by Hillsong United. I found myself in my car belting out the chorus. "My whole life is Yours. I give it all, surrendered to Your Name and forever I will pray, have your way." Instead of impressing the people around me, I need to impress God. Not by showing off, but in how I live my life. In my decision making, I need to make sure that the decision is made to please God, not others. When I am trying to impress others, I am hurting myself and not thinking about what God wants for me.

It is time to stop trying to impressing others and stand up for God. Please pray that I am given the strength to stand up to people, make the right decisions, and through it all, find peace. My prayer for the next few weeks is going to be a verse from Arm Open Wide and it goes like this, "I am Yours and You are mine." Through it all, He will be there.

Not Just Thanksgiving

Tis the season to realize how thankful you are for the people, places, and things around you. So who, what, and where are you thankful for this season?

The list of people who I am thankful for could go on and on. Especially these last few years, I can't say enough thank you's and I am sure that I have forgotten plenty. Let me just begin by thanking my Parents. They have flown across the United States for me, literally. No matter what I do, they support me 100%. I am also thankful for my East Coast Parents, the Weavers. They have opened their home for me and have been there whenever I need anything. I have learned so much from them, and I can't thank them enough. The Goldsmith family has been a huge blessing these last few months. After letting me invade their space, they feed me and make me feel like family. I also can't say thank you enough to my Sandy Cove Family. Meghan, Cody, Michael, Deanna, Dan, Nick, and so many more, I can't say thank you enough! And of course, I am thankful for Ben who has put up with me for the last few months. No matter how stressed or frustrating I am, he continues to show me and remind me that I can do anything I put my mind to.

I am beyond thankful for some of the littlest things as well. The first one being my bed. I love my bed and treasure every night I get to sleep in it. I am also thankful for my bathroom. I have running, hot water. However, food is something I am VERY thankful for this season. Whether it is a new kind of stuffing or a fresh container of raspberry jelly, I am thankful that when I go to bed, I don't fall asleep on an empty stomach.

Traveling is one of my favorite things in the whole world. It may just be the drive to school or into work, but I love it. Seeing God's creation piece by piece, warms my heart. In the last few months, I have traveled over 4,000 miles and will travel another 1,300 before Christmas. I'm thankful for airports and their ability to get me across the country to see my Family. However I am also thankful for being able to call Maryland home for these last few months and summers.

During this holiday season, think about the people, things, and places that you are thankful for. Share what you are thankful for with others around you and listen to what they have to say. It may be as simple as a new stove or it may be as special as a 2 year old saying that the person they are most thankful for is you.

Short but Perfect

Last night I found myself in the right place at the perfect time. Due to my job, I haven't been able to attend church a lot in the last few months. My class got out early yesterday and because of that, I was able to go to Way of Life Community Church in Rising Sun, MD.

After a wonderful worship session, Pastor Wade Haskins gave a short but perfect talk. He said, "Our picture of God will determine our dependence level." Let that sink in for a minute. I actually tuned him out for a while because I was stuck thinking about that statement he made. If we don't see God how we need to, how are we going to depend on him? We need to depend on God more than a baby depends on his parents, more than a student depends on their teacher, and more than an employee depends on their boss.

Pastor Wade also talked about the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. This parable was written to "some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else." Luke 18:10-14 says, "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

I would have never linked what Pastor Wade said to this Parable, but it is the perfect example. As you and I go on with our day-to-day life, I pray that we pray as the tax collector did. A big part of being a christian is remembering that we are sinners. In God's eyes sin is sin, there is no measurement of which one is greater. So, this next week or weekend, really think about how you picture God because in the end, that will determine how much you depend on him.

All I want for Christmas is...

As a kid, I dreamed of the day that we got our Fleet Farm Christmas catalog in the mail. That meant not only Christmas was around the corner, but that it was time to start thinking of what we wanted for Christmas. Of the 25 things we circled, we normally only got one or two of them, but for that, I am very thankful.

Growing up, my Family didn't live a we want lifestyle, it was very much a what do you need. We always got socks and underwear along with a few movies we really liked or a clothing item we could use. Beyond that our stocking was full of our favorite cereals that we didn't buy on a regular basis, some candy, and some fun food.

One of my favorite gifts that I look forward to every year is my ornament. Since we were born, every year my Parents picked out an ornament that summarized out past year. This way, by the time we moved out, we had enough ornaments to decorate our own tree. So in 2011, I got a graduation cap. When I turned 16, it was a car. I can only imagine what this year will be since I just turned 21.

Of course every year, Santa brought us one big gift. One year it was a new sled. I remember getting a GameBoy for one of the years and Dale and I had to share it. I can't thank my parents enough for not spoiling us. I have learned over the years that Christmas is 1 day out the year and the last thing you want to teach your kids is to be greedy on that one day.

Since we are getting to the point in the year when we start thinking about Christmas, I can't help but think about what I want. If I was 5, I could easily open up the Fleet Farm catalog and go crazy, but I am not 5 anymore. I am at a loss of what I want for Christmas because in all sincerity, I need nothing. I have a bed, clothes, plenty of food, and a job. What more could I ask for?

Just an Update

It's been two week since I have update my blog and these last two weeks have been filled with utter chaos.

On October 22nd, Ben arrived on the East Coast. It had been over 2 months since we had seen each other and for a few hours, I couldn't believe he was actually out here. As soon as he got here, we headed to Washington D.C. and spent the next 3 days touring the amazing US Capital. We were able to visit some museums,  a few monuments, and eat some delicious deep dish pizza.

Then on the 24th, we headed to my the town I currently call home. I was able to introduce Ben to my friends, visit Turkey Point Lighthouse, go to an apple orchard, and introduce him to Sandy Cove. Of course, he eventually had to go back to MN but the final night before he left, we decided to get creative. While in D.C. we has some of the best deep dish pizza we had ever had. So, naturally we decided to make some deep dish pizza from scratch. Neither of us had made it before so it was either going to be really good or a disaster. To our surprise, it was absolutely delicious. It is amazing how much you treasure your time with someone when you only have 5 days with them.

Just like last time we said goodbye, this time wasn't any easier than the last. Of course you hold it in until you get out of sight. I was told, just don't look back. Thankfully, I kept going until I got to my car. Then, yes, I lost it. It was hard to say goodbye to someone who you won't see until Christmas. Right before we said our goodbye, Ben said, "Just remember this isn't goodbye, it is just see you in a while." I constantly have to remind myself of how true that is.

Once Ben left, it was time to get back into a routine. My second block of classes started and it was time to get focused back on school. Thankfully, my classes are still going very well. This block is definitely harder than last, but I have to constantly remind myself I am not a Freshman anymore, I am a Senior and your diploma doesn't just get handed to you.

Last Wednesday, after my statistics class I decided to meet a friend at a local mall and buy Ben's birthday present. I was extremely excited. Overall, it was a really relaxing day. Within minutes of leaving the area my car started to make a clicking sound. Before I could pull over, my check engine light had turned on, my car completely locked up, and shut off. As it is pitch black outside, I immediately call AAA and the family I live with. With AAA and the family on their way, I was sitting in the middle of Delaware, and I was completely unsure of where I was. A friend stayed on the phone with me, as I internally was freaking out, until someone arrived. After a few years with an unreliable car, this situation is something I have nightmares about on a regular basis. At one point before anyone arrived Ben called. I was such a wreck, I knew I wouldn't be able to talk to him. He just said, "You're ok" before telling me to call him later. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I was ok, and that is all that mattered at that moment.

AAA finally came and towed my car away. A few days later I learned that my car was shot. The timing belt, valves, and water pump were completely toast. I was stuck 1,200 miles away from home without a car, without my family, and at a complete loss of what to do. Within hours, so many people offered their help. Without them, I don't know what I would have done.

In a few short days, my Dad is going to start a trip out here to bring me a car. I can't say enough good things about my Dad. The last few years, our relationship has been put to the test. Through it all, we have learned so much about each other. I can't tell you how excited I am that I will get to see him and spend time with him. Even though it will only be a few days, I will take whatever I can get since I won't be seeing him again until Christmas.

It's the hard times that bring out the best in us and the worst. These last few days have emotional and physically drained me. Through it all, I have friends who step up, a family that loves me, and a God who continues to show me that earthly thing aren't going to matter in the end. This last week I was reminded of my favorite verse, Isaiah 58:9, "Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." The last week, He was with me and through this next week, He will be with me. Whether you are touring your nations capital or stranded on the side of the road in the middle of Delaware, through it all, He is with you.

All About That Bass

Now a days, people can only think about themselves, myself included. It is getting harder and harder for people to see life from someone else's point of view. People aren't willing to step into other people shoes because it is all about them.

In June 2014, Meghan Trainor released her debut single "All About That Bass".  The song is upbeat and extremely catchy. It immediately went viral with over 164 million views on YouTube. With lines like "It's pretty clean, I ain't no size two" and "My Momma, she told me don't worry about your size" I could immediately see why it went viral. For once a song was released that wasn't encouraging girls to be a size zero and the need look perfect.

However, the other day I read a blog that made me sick to my stomach. The blog post was titled, "Why I am not 'all about that bass'." It was very interesting but they take the song very literally. My favorite line from the blog reads, "Trainor is basically saying, yes be confident, but only if you're curvy. So since I am booty-less, I'm not allowed to feel confident?" This is exactly what Trainor isn't saying. She is saying that no matter how big or small you are, you shouldn't worry about your size. 

Another line from the song is, "I know you think you're fat, but I'm here to tell you that, every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top." No matter if you are a size 2 or a size 15, you are beautiful. Trainor was asked in an interview if she was still getting criticism for allegedly "shaming" thin women and I think her answer is perfect. Trainor replied with saying, "Yeah, I'm still getting flak. It'll come for as long as the song lives, but for the most part people are relating to the self-acceptance part of it, which is amazing, because that was my point."

I wish people could put themselves in other peoples shoes. So often bigger people are the first ones ridiculed, when the skinny people are calling themselves fat. Clearly, nobody feels 100% secure with their body but that is no reason to go and look down on other people. I strongly agree with what Trainor meant when she released "All About That Bass," that no matter what size you are, you are beautiful and you need to love yourself.

Now what?

After being told by more than three doctors that I was a medical mystery, it was up to me to find a way to not only sleep through the night, but also stay sleeping through the night without my stomach getting upset. After

Two years ago I decided to try Badgers Stress Soother. It comes in a tin and you use it similar to Chapstick. Before I went to bed I rubbed a little bit on my hands, my temples, and above my top lip. This allowed me to breath in the Tangerine and Rosemary as I went to bed. Not expecting it to work, I tried it a few times and then realized that this allowed me to fall asleep faster and relieve unneeded stress. Granted it doesn't magically get rid of my stress but it calmed me down before bed.  Badger products range from $7 a tin to $15 depending on size. I got the 1 oz tin and I am still on my original tin. That is another bonus.

Now that I knew how to get to sleep, I needed to find a way to stay asleep through the night. I thought Essentials Oils were a joke and truly didn't believe they worked. In June, after doing research on my own, I decided to try peppermint oil. I would a few drops on my lower stomach (where I typically hurt/cramp before I get sick). Magically, it started working. I also learned that it can help with headaches. I tried it, and now I no longer need ibuprofen.  The awesome thing about peppermint oil is that you can get bottles of it for $4 instead of $32. I highly suggest this to anyone who suffers from daily headaches. 

I have also been very impressed with Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy products. The first time I tried them, they were on clearance and I should have bought the whole shelf. The one I use now is their Night Time Tea lotion. It essentially does what tea is supposed to do for you. It is supposed to calm and comfort you while relaxing before you go to sleep. My favorite scent is the Cedarwood and Orange lotion. I normally lotion my hands before bed or right before I start a long day at work or school.

A few days ago, I received a care package from a close family I love from home. They sent me the Badger Sleep Balm. This is a mixture of Lavender and Bergamot with a hint of ginger (ginger also helps with upset stomachs). I decided to put a little bit on my temples and lips, and sure enough, it worked. When a product works after only using it two times, I am always impressed.

I now keep my stress soother in my backpack and bring it wherever I go and my peppermint oil, sleep balm, and lotion stay on my head board. In the last 8 months, I have only had 1 stomach episode. That is the longest I have gone in the last 5 years without getting sick.  I never imagined being a medical mystery but I'm so thankful I've found little ways to fall asleep and stay asleep without getting sick.

Well, I'm over it.

Today while driving to work I heard a song on the radio and there were a few lines that I heard that I couldn't stop thinking about. Besides the few lines that stuck out to me, the rest of the song is very weird. So, just keep that in mind.  In Mary Lambert's song Secrets, it says, "My family is dysfunctional but we have a good time killing each other. They tell us from the time we're young to hide the things that we don't like about ourselves inside ourselves. I know I'm not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else. Well I'm over it. I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are."

So here are my secrets…

I have slept on my bathroom floor more than ten times in the last three years. With all my stomach issues, sometimes a cold tile floor will cure even the crappiest stomach ache. However every night, God was there with me with His hand on me reminding me that he is there with me.

People assume my family is perfect. Yes, we have traveled the world together and met famous people, but trust me, the word dysfunctional doesn't even begin to explain my family. However, God has and will always be the most important person in our family and that is all that matters.

I am scared to death to fall in love. Not just falling in love, but committing to a marriage. Being 21 years old, I don't know the secrets to making a relationship work. I mean come on.. Who does? The answer is God. A close friend reminded me today that, "A man makes his plans, but God directs his steps."

I constantly question myself. Am I going to the right school? Am I living in the right place? Will I regret the decisions I'm making? I'm constantly over thinking things as well. Often times I will question myself to the point of stressing myself to tears. Somehow, God always takes care of it.

So, my secret is easy: It's God. In every situation, every relationship, and everyday, I need to trust God's plan. Day after day, God has made my path clear. He directs me exactly where he wants me.

In December, I plan to move back to Minnesota. God has opened unexpected doors for me and financially, this is the best decision. Thankfully, I won't have to transfer schools again and I will still be able to graduate in less than a year. My plan was to stay in Maryland as long as I could and possibly move here permanently. However, God had different plans. I look forward to seeing what God has planned next and to remember that God will help me through every situation, every relationship, and everyday. 

What has happened?

A year ago today, I started this crazy blog. I believe the reason God had me write this was so I could see how much I am able to grow in a year. This has been a crazy year, full of ups and downs, but through it all God has been there. So where was I a year ago? What am I up to today? And where do I see myself in a year?

A year ago, I was attending St. Cloud State University. I was enrolled as a full time student with the goal of receiving my Bachelors degree in Communication Studies. When I wasn't at school, I was either nannying, at church, or at the land four-wheeling. I was living at home with both of my parents and brother. I had it pretty good.

Today is a little bit different. I am currently living in a small town in Maryland and attending Wilmington University in Delaware. When I'm not working on school work, I'm working at Sandy Cove Ministries in North East, MD. I absolutely love my job. The job itself is so fun but the people who I work with make it even that much better. I'm renting a room from close friends and I couldn't have asked for better living arrangements. I am also in a long distance relationship. Long distance wasn't my plan but we are getting through it one day at a time. These days, I'm just taking life as it comes.

In a year, I want to have graduated college and be done with school for awhile. I would love to be working full time at a local business. Hopefully in their HR or marketing department. As scary as it is, I see myself back in Minnesota, closer to family. Even though the majority of my friends are on the East Coast, Minnesota is my home. I also hope to still be in the relationship I am in now.

Over the last year, I have written over 100 different blog posts that over 4,000 people have read. What I love even more is that it isn't just being read in the United States. People from France, Ukraine, Spain, Austria, Germany, Russia, Malaysia, Canada, Sweden, Indonesia, and Poland have been reading my blogs. There is no way I could have gotten through this last year alone, God is to thank. Here is to another year with me, The Minnesota Caffeine Queen, and God. God is enough.

Age Barrier? I don't think so.

For the most part, I am not easily offended. I take a lot of things people say with a grain of salt and go on with my day. However the other day I was taken back by what someone said about someone I loved.

The other day some people were having a group discussion about watching Television as a kid. I brought up the point that I had a TV but we only had the 5 basic channels. I also said how thankful I was that my parents never let us have a TV with a lot of channels because I know that for most people, it can be a very addictive habit. After I explained my situation as a kid, a close peer told me that my Mother was a hippie and that is why we didn't have TV. I quickly responded with, "I really don't think she is." They then told me that she lived through the 60's and 70's so I should trust her that she is a hippie.

I am sorry but just because you live through a certain era, doesn't automatically make you fit the stereotype for that era. I lived through the 90's, does that automatically make me just like Britney Spears, because I can promise you that I don't have two kids, been through a divorce, and tried my hand at drugs. Just because my Mom didn't want us to have a TV, doesn't mean she is a hippie. As a kid, my Mom wanted us to realize that there is more in life than to stay inside and watch TV all day long.

I want to blame this misunderstanding on age, but I know that isn't the case. What is hard is that this peer isn't my age, they are older and have also lived through the 60's and 70's, so they know the stereotypes too.  I just want to encourage people to be very careful when talking about stereotypes when age is involved. Keep in mind that not all girls that lived through the Miley Cyrus years are going to end up twerking and all guys who watch Michael Phelps swim in the Olympics are going to end up with a DUI.  It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

Miles for Smiles

If you were to ask me what my biggest passion is or what is at the top of my bucket list, my answers would run coincide. Helping others is what I thrive for, and my biggest dream is to travel to Africa. This all started when my mom was the Children’s Director at our church and we sponsored a little girl from Peru. Every year since then, maybe even before, my family has sponsored 1-4 kids all around the world. From ages 12-18, I sponsored a girl from Zambia, Africa who was exactly one week younger than me; her name was Sera. Ever since I sponsored Sera, I had this drive in me to someday meet her. I’m not sure if I ever will, but all I can do is hope and pray.

As my passion for helping people has kept on, I became a leader for an organization called Latte Losers during my sophomore year of college. Latte Losers is a movement of college students who are passionate about changing the lives of children all over the world. It’s a division of VisionTrust International that aims to provide food for children at serious risk of malnutrition, death or trafficking. By giving $5 a month, the average cost to feed a child for a month, we can change the lives of these precious children. Each semester our donations are sent to different countries, this semester we are feeding children in India! My co-leader and I came up with a fundraiser called Miles for Smiles. I registered for seven races, and for every mile I ran, my goal was to feed two children in India. The total mileage was 34.7 miles, so a total of $345 was what I was pushing to raise. Well, after my final race in September, I’m ecstatic to say that I raised $770, enough to feed 154 children in India for an entire month! Praise Jesus!

Now let’s rewind time, back to this spring. In March I ran my second ever 5k, and this was the start of my journey. Prior to this time, I despised running. I was in track in high school, but for the jumping events, not for any form of running. As I’m seeking a degree in the health field and I’ve developed a passion for fitness, this fundraiser was right on point. Not only did I help feed these children, but I developed a passion for a sport I thought I could never call fun. Over the course of the summer, I ran 94 miles and completed a half marathon. Both of these are accomplishments that I never thought I could say I’ve completed! Throughout the training for my half marathon there were times where I wanted to give up, but I knew I couldn’t. ‘You’re running to save lives’ is a thought that occurred more times than not. This project was an awesome incentive to keep me going. God is great and He works in mysterious, but awesome ways. Philippians 4:13 says ‘I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.’ If you have a dream, then fight for it, and ask for God’s guidance. You never know what you can do for both yourself and others in this world. Our motto with Latte Losers is ‘it starts with one: one person, one latte lost, one life radically changed!’

About the author: My name is Emily and I grew up with the Minnesota Caffeine Queen, best pals since the summer of 93’. I am a senior at UW-Superior, seeking a degree in Community Health Promotion & Sports Management. Upon graduation, I hope to find a career in the area of Corporate Fitness/Wellness. Currently I work 4 part-time jobs: YMCA Fitness Trainer, Office Assistant in Admissions, Athletic Worker for Volleyball games, and an Independent Consultant for Thirty One. Recently I became a certified Group Fitness Instructor, so I am hoping to start teaching classes soon! Some of my hobbies include spending time with loved ones, traveling, playing volleyball, running, working out, camping, and watching movies.

A Trip That Won't Be Forgotten

At the age of just 13, I was given a trip to tour Europe for my birthday. It was a trip that at the time, I didn't take for granted. I was able to travel through countries I may never visit again but it was full of history that I would soon learn about in the next few years of high school and college.

One of the stops on the tour was a concentration camp in Austria, Mauthausen-Gusen Concentration Camp. At the time I didn't understand where we were and what made this place so important. In high school, we learned all about what happened at these camps and it all set in. There were two things that I will never forget though. I remember being led down a set of stairs that led to a dark room. It looked like it was a cellar, with concrete on all the walls and the ceiling. There was a sign over the door that read, "Exekutions-Statte." At one point we were told that where we stood, over 80,000 people took their last breath. This included children, mothers, and fathers. It's still crazy to think I stood in that room and unlike the 80,000 people who died in there, I got to walk out and continue to eat, breathe, and live a life.  The second thing I will never forget was we were lead over to a field. There were beautiful rolling hills covered in grass that was greener than any grass I had ever seen. As we were admiring how beautiful this field was, we were told that those hills were bodies. Hill after hill was made of bodies that were just tossed into piles. These people were never given a proper burial and will never be able to be identified. It still makes me sick just thinking about that picture in my head of those amazingly beautiful fields. At the end of the tour there was an area in the middle of the camp that you could place a rock in a large cement structure. I left a rock just like everyone else did, but almost 10 years later, that rock means more than just knowing what went on. I will never understand what those families were put through or understand why what happened did, but I promise you I will never forget what happened in those gas chamber, or why those hills were as beautiful as they are. I will never forget.

The other stop I will never forget was when we got to tour the Sound of Music garden. A year before we went on this tour, I was given the privilege to play Gretl Von Trapp in the Sound of Music and I had seen the movie many, many times. We were able to see the outside of the house, the gazebo where "Sixteen going on Seventeen" was filmed, but my favorite was the garden where "Do-Re-Mi" took place. We were able to play around the fountain where they sang, as well as run down the tunnel they biked down while singing. The garden was filled with breath taking flowers along with multiple fountains and gorgeous statues. When I look at the pictures of the day we visited, I can't help but think of the song Edelweiss. The Captain sings, "Bless my homeland forever" and there is no doubt that the land is blessed with beauty.

I will never forget this trip. I highly encourage you to visit Germany, Austria, Hungry, the Czech Republic, and Slovakia. You will see things that will take your breath away, eat unforgettable food, and experience a culture that is so different than ours.

Top 10 (Part 3)

So, I've shared my top 10 books, and top 10 songs, but I saved my favorite for last: Movies! And there was no way I could just pick 10, so here are my top 14!

#1 Bridesmaids. This is by far my favorite movie. I could watch it over and over again. It is a very quotable movie. Basically the main characters best friend is getting married and she is asked to be the maid of honor. However, one of the bridesmaids tries to steal the light whenever possible. Everything that could go wrong while planning a wedding does. Kristen Wiig is absolutly phenomenal in it.

#2 Kickass. This movie is a superhero movie on drugs, but it is weirdly good. A high school student notices trouble is happening all around him and decides to become a superhero named 'Kickass'. This is definitely not a typical children's superhero movie.

#3 Stand By Me. Who doesn't want to watch a movie that has four early teenage boys go on an adventure to look for a dead body, just so they can get their names in the newspaper? You learn so much about the boys lives and friendship on their journey.

#4 50 First Dates. I first watched this movie as a teenager and still to this day, I could quote the whole movie beginning to end. I love Drew Barrymore, so she makes this movie even better. Who wouldn't want to fall in love with someone who won't remember you tomorrow?

#5 Toy Story 3. After two successful Toy Story movies, I expected this one to be a bust. However, I think this is the best one. Between all the new characters and the story plot, it will leave you on the edge of your seat. Which toys will Andy take to college?

#6 Star Wars. By far, the best 6 movies in the history of movies. Kudos to George Lucas. You have to watch them in the proper order though; 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, and then 3. Someday I will sit and watch them all in order but I have never found the time to do so. This is the story of little Anakin turning to the dark side to realize in the end that he is good.

#7 Saving Mr. Banks. If you liked Mary Poppins, this the story of the writer. The acting in this movie is  mind blowing. Have kleenex with you. I don't tear up during movies but this one got me.

#8 Peter Pan. "Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it." -J.M. Barrie. This is a simple story informing you to never grow up.

#9 Harry Potter. This is the story of a young wizard, Harry Potter, who must battle for his life against the Dark Lord who murdered his parents. His friends, Ron and Hermione, also join him for the journey.

#10 Calamity Jane. This is my all time favorite musical. This is the story of Calamity Jane, her saloon, and her romance with Wild Bill Hickok. Doris Day is incredibly talented in this film. One of my favorite songs from the movie is the opening song she sings, "The Deadwood Stage." Click here if you want to see a clip from it!

#11 Gnomeo And Juliet. This is the classic story of Romeo and Juliet but told by garden gnomes. It is adorable beyond words and unlike the original story, this one has a happy ending. Plus the music in it is spectacular.

#12 The Breakfast Club. Classic 80's movie that every high schooler should watch. It is a day in detention with 5 students who have completely different personalities. When they are forced to make the best of their circumstances they learn to understand each other and realize they are all going through similar stages in life.

#13 Secondhand Lions. This is a story of a young boy who was sent to live with his wealthy, eccentric uncles. His mother is extremely irresponsible and sends him on the hunch that he will find the uncle stash of money. It is a heart warming story that is extremely well written.

#14 Wreck-it Ralph. In this incredibly cute story, Ralph meets Vanellope in hopes that she will be able to help him fulfill his dream. However in the process he bring havoc to the whole arcade where he lives. This is a true, feel good movie.

These are only a few (ok, quite a few) of my favorite movies but this doesn't do my favorites list justice. There are so many good movies out there. I have learned to realize that sometimes the story in a movie, lines up with life circumstances we are facing in life. They help us to see that in the end, at least for these movies, there is a happy ending. What are some of your favorite movies?

Top 10 (Part 2)

I love music. With that being said, here are the top ten most played songs on my computer!

#1 God is Enough by Lecrae. I love Lecrae. He has an amazing heart for music but more importantly for Jesus. If you have 10 minutes, watch his I am Second video here. His story is so unique. He has been through so much, yet continues to live his day to day life to the fullest.

#2 No Sleep by Wiz Khalifa. We all have that one song that just pumps us up. This is mine.

#3 Best Song Ever by One Direction. Everyone should as least have one 1D song on their music list. In my case, I have a few of them. Plus the music video for this song is the best! Watch it here.

#4 What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction. Listen to this every morning because you are beautiful.

#5 Story of My Life by One Direction. If you haven't noticed, I really enjoy One Direction.

#6 Hall of Fame by The Script. One of my favorite lines of this song is "Dedicate yourself and you're going to find yourself!"

#7 The Proof of Your Love by for KING & COUNTRY. The best part of this song is the monologue. They read 1 Corinthians 13, "If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."

#8 Good Life by One Republic. This song just serves as a reminder that life is so amazing. It reminds me that my life is so good and somedays I forget how lucky I am.

#9 Love is an Open Door from the movie Frozen. I mean come on, who doesn't want to sing about love?

#10 Pumpin Blood by NONONO. This is another one of my pump up songs. It just makes me want to get up and dance.

Sorry I had to add one more...

#11 Skyfall by Adele. I couldn't imagine anyone else starting off a James Bond movie better than her. If this song doesn't give you chills, I don't know what will.

There is so much good music out right now and I'm sure if you asked me in a year what my top played songs are then, the list would be much different. If you need something good to listen to I suggest One Direction, One Republic, Maroon 5, Lecrae, Switchfoot, or some Jesus Culture.

Top 10

Let me just say, that I love reading but I hate crappy books. One of the worst feelings in the world, if you asked me, is when a book ends terribly. These next ten books are my all time favorites, and I promise, they don't end crappy.

#1. Perks of Being a Wallflower. Every teenager should read this book. Whether they are 13 or 19, it will change your life. This is the journal of Charlie who is a struggling Freshman in high school who has never fit in. Then he meets Sam and Patrick and he begins to live again.

#2. Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I honestly can not say enough good things about this book. This is the Introduction to the book. The book isn't long but I promise, it will change the way you view christianity.

#3. A Walk to Remember. I love good, cheesy love stories. This story has an amazing ending and it is way better than the movie. Unlike the movie, the book ends with, "And then there was hope." So if you haven't seen the movie, read the book first.

#4. Peter Pan. Whether it is the chapter book or the children's story, read it. No matter if you are 5 years old or 90, it is a classic reminder that you never have to grown up. Even as adults, we can still be able to be a kid because once you grow up, you can never go back.

#5. 50 Shades of Grey. Most people either love it or hate it. If you do read it, be ready to read the whole trilogy.

#6. Safe Haven. If you want a book that will leave you smiling from ear to ear at the end, this is the book I suggest. I have never been so invested in a story before. I love reading love stories that involve children, and this one does. This book has also been made into a movie but I suggest you read the book before you see the movie. (FYI Safe Haven does an amazing job following the book.)

#7. Jesus Freak. This is a book filled with short stories about real life martyrs. This book made me laugh and cry. Where some of the stories make you go, "awwww," others will feel so real that it will take your breath away.

#8. Close Encounters. I read this book for an Interpersonal Relationships class. I can't say enough good things about this book. It made me re-evaluate all my relationships. It made me realize why I treat my parents the way I do, and vise versa. I also learned how to work through problems in relationships with out causing a blow-out. If there is one book that saved my relationships, it was this one.

#9. The Bible. Read it cover to cover and over again. Just like Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light for my pathway."

#10. Water For Elephants. I have not finished this book yet. I am only about 1/3rd the way through but I can already tell that it is going to be one of my favorites. I know that this book is filled with heartache and I'm prepared. This book has hit home in a lot of ways. With parents who worked on a circus, I recognize a lot of similar things with their experience and the book.

These are only 10 of my favorites but there are hundreds of good books out there so I would love to hear what your favorite books are! Whether they are children's books, devotional books, or just love stories, I'd love to read your favorite books!

All the time...

"God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good."

The key words in that sentence that I often times forget are all the time. Every second, every minute, God is good.

These last two weeks haven't been anything but stressful. Between a broken car, no financial aid, and being 1,200 miles away from my family, I have had a hard time adjusting to life in Maryland.

Two days ago I was given the amazing news that my financial aid went through. Not only that but I was given a grant that I wasn't expecting. (Remember that "all the time God is good" part?) This news has relieved so much stress. Instead of focusing on money now, I will be able to turn my time over to school and finishing on time.

God provides us with exactly what we need, exactly when we need it. I am so thankful that I will be able to look back at these last few weeks and see how good God is.

Be yourself

In July I wrote a post called "What do you think you are doing?" In this post I wrote about how people were doubting my decisions and how discouraged I was. I would like to say things have changed, but they haven't. Don't you remember in Kindergarten when we were taught, "If you can't saying anything nice, don't say anything at all?"

No matter how discouraging people are, I've kept on this path. I'm living in Maryland, going to school in Delaware, and dating a guy that is in Minnesota. Through this whole thing my Parents and Ben have been supporting me in every decision I make. Even though the distance is hard, they have reminded me that while I am out here I need to enjoy my time and just be myself.  

I found this quote the other day and I couldn't help but smile. "Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire." St. Catherine of Sienna. Even on days when I am told that my relationship isn't going to work, I am reminded of who God created me to be.  God created us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. In the midst of this crazy life God has given me, I need to find time to pray for those who persecute me. 

We Will Never Forget

As a third grader, I was in Ms. Seaton's Class. We were just getting ready for Math (I believe), when she came in with tears in her eyes. I would see one of the most devastating things in US history play over and over again on my TV screen. Almost 3,000 people lost their life. I wouldn't understand the impact this was having for many years.

Fathers, Mothers, Children, Nieces, Nephews, Aunts, Uncles, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Fiancés, Grandmas, Grandpas, Grandchildren; They never got to say goodbye or one last 'I love you'.

Remember that we need to remember the victims as well as honor the heroes. We also need to be praying for all the soldiers that are still fighting for our country. Also pray for our leaders. 1 Timothy 2:1-3 say, "The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know. Pray especially for rulers and their governments to rule well so we can be quietly about our business of living simply, in humble contemplation. This is the way our Savior God wants us to live."

We will never forget.

What a Whirlwind

These last few days have been emotionally, mentally, and physically overwhelmingly. I have felt like I moved out here to Maryland and now that I am here, certain things aren't working out and it is extremely stressful and disappointing. 

Yesterday I was given the news that my financial aid won't be going through for at least 6 weeks. Which puts me in a position where rent isn't being paid, bills are piling up, and my schooling isn't getting paid for. Please pray that God gives me peace. It will all work out, it is just going to take time. 

On top of financial aid, I have the stress of school as a whole. Assignments are starting to come in and slowly but surely I am getting them done. On a more positive note, I found out that after this semester, all of my in-class classes will be complete and I can finish my degree from where ever I want. (Yes, going home to MN is an idea that I have been playing around with.)

Yesterday and today, I was reminded of the saying, "The grass isn't always greener on the other side." I can't help but wonder if God put me on the journey to show that no matter where you go in life, life isn't perfect. Everyday things aren't going to line up perfectly whether it is with school, work, or finances. 

In the end, God is good. He is going to be the one who gets me through this. In the morning I will wake up in a home that is full of love, a job where people encourage me daily, and a family that loves me no matter how far away they are. 

Thank You Aldi

If you would have asked me five years ago to not only watch what I ate, but cut most meat out of my diet and try to eat as organic as I can, I would have laughed at you. Well, because of the stomach issues I was having, that is what my doctors had suggested. "Watch what you eat and be as healthy as possible." After reading blog after blog about what to eat and what not to eat, I learned that eating healthy is expensive and doesn't work. Sure enough, recently I was proven wrong.

Everything is about money lately. School loans, broken cars, and just life's expenses. I decided to make a stop at Aldi the other night after school.  I was instantly impressed and surprised. I was able to get a full cart of groceries for under $40. They not only had a wonderful selection or organic foods, but they had an amazing selection of gluten-free selections. Last night I tried their organic marinara sauce and it was surprisingly delicious. I also bought but haven't tried their gluten-free macaroni and cheese, their granola bars, and their salsa. I have tried their original salsa but I am excited to try their black bean salsa and their mango salsa. (Keep in mind there is a big difference between all-natural and organic)

At one point I tried to convince myself that nothing was going to help my stomach problems.  In May, I decided to cut pop out of my diet completely. I honestly wasn't sure if it did anything but I didn't get sick all month so that's a positive. Since then I try to avoid it as much as I can but when I go out to eat I normally enjoy a pop with my burger. Now, since about May, I haven't been since once. I have had an upset stomach but it hasn't gotten to point of actually getting sick. I firmly believe it is because I have been careful with what I eat. So often people will get a stomach ache and take a tums or medication right away. After months and months of trial and error, I encourage you to try and just eat healthy for one month. It really isn't that hard. Cut out candy, chips, pop, artificial sweeteners, etc. from your diet. It never hurts to try.

Keep in mind that there is still a problem with companies falsely-labeling their food. Not 100% of all food labels are true but just look at the ingredients and what kind of preservatives they use. There is a plethora of helpful blogs out there that have wonderful advice and helpful tips. I am also not guaranteeing you that eating right will make your stomach problems disappear. Just remember: When you eat like crap, you feel like crap.

Let's Be Real

1 in 30 people stay a virgin until they are married. Which means about 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex.

This world is full of sex, regardless if you are having it or not. We can't help the culture we live in but we can get help and encouragement from those around us. 

In 2012, Olympic track star Lola Jones made headlines at just 29 years old. This is what she said about her virginity, "It’s just something, a gift that I want to give to my husband. But please understand this journey has been hard. If there’s virgins out there, I just want to let them know, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics, harder than graduating from college, it’s been to stay a virgin before marriage." I can't even fathom training for an Olympics but I know how hard college is and the struggle is real. 

When a man is willing to express that he wants to wait until marriage, you should respect his choice. Just like if you decide to wait, the man should do the same thing. This is part of a relationship that should be taken very seriously. This is also a deciding factor in my relationships. In College, I knew I wasn't meant to be with someone the minute he told me he can't wait. 

Life isn't easy, trust me. However, I encourage you to be that 1 in 30 that stays pure until marriage. 1 Peter 2:11-12 says, "Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."

One Word

If you could describe your Summer in one word, what would it be? There is only one word that comes to mind; Adventure.

In the movie Up, Ellie says one line that has stuck with me all summer. In this clip, she says, "Adventure is out there." My Summer has been an adventure I will never forget.

In June, I packed up my life and prepared to say goodbye to Minnesota for good. I planned on starting a life in Maryland. Throughout May I started packing and saying my goodbyes. It was all going very smoothly until I met Ben. June 3rd, we went on a motorcycle ride. June 4th, we saw a movie and toilet papered a friends house. June 19th, we finally made our relationship official. June 19th, I also left for Maryland.

July was full of learning. God taught me that no matter what, in every circumstance find joy. Just like I wrote in my blog, The Summer 2014 Race, God has never failed us and he isn't going to start now. At points throughout the summer I doubted that my long distance relationship was going to work. If I was going to live 1,200 miles away for a whole year, were we going to be able to make it work?

Then August showed up. This is where the real adventure started. August 3rd, Ben picked me up at the airport. I don't think I have ever been so excited to see an individual. Throughout the month we would see each other everyday. Between motorcycle rides, a close family members wedding, and learning how to drive a tractor, I wouldn't have traded the month of August for the world.

Oprah Winfrey said, "The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Some mornings I wake up and it feels like I am living in a dream. Then I realize how much God has blessed me over the past few months and I am extremely thankful. Life should be an adventure. Just like Ellie said, "Adventure is out there."

It pours.

"When it rains, it pours; but He promised never to let it flood." 

Today was another one of those long, stressful days. However by 5 o'clock, things had turned around. I am still without a car and financial aid but I'm starting to realize, that's ok. Tonight I came home to a warm, home cooked meal, a clean bed, and a fresh shower. What else could you ask for?

After receiving a phone call that my car is fixed, I learned that by this weekend, my financial aid should  be cleared. It was two phone calls and almost instantly my day had done a complete 180. I know that this isn't the end of stressful days but I know that in the end, God will make a way. 

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has over taken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure." 

In Him, I can do all things. 

When it rains…

After spending a month at home with the people I love, it was time to go back out East to prepare for school. I thought leaving was going to be hard, but that was only the beginning.

This morning I started my "big girl" job at the same camp I worked at all Summer. My first meeting was at 9:30 am today. I figured I should probably be early so I left 30 minutes early. I got in my car and  the tires had locked up. I made sure all the brakes were off and tried again and still no luck. Thankfully I live with gracious people who gladly gave me a ride. All I could think to myself was that this was the worst first day of work I could ever have. Nobody likes late employees. God was clearly controlling time this morning because the lady who I was supposed to meet with was also late.

Even though I have a broken car and no financial aid (yet), the people around me have done nothing but support and help me. I can't thank the family I live with enough. Not only have they opened their home to me but they have fed me and have been driving me around the last 2 days.

There is a reason I am out here. God is already opening up opportunities for me. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

If only I wasn't...

If only I wasn't sick…

All summer I managed to not be infected with the plague that was going around camp. At one point flu, hand, foot, and mouth, and strep were making their rounds. Every morning I would make sure that I had some sort of Vitamin C. All 6 weeks I was fine until Week 6, day 5…

Both of my roommates had been complaining about sore throats, sure enough I woke up that morning sore as well.  Slowly that sore throat took my voice away. Then it proceeded to make me sound like a harking walrus. After a few days, I thought I had been getting better. Well, surprise, it came back worse. I was no longer sleeping through the night, I constantly had a headache, and my nose was plugged.

I was supposed to be going home the next day and I was so disappointed. Not only did I not want to travel sick but I didn't want to get everyone at home sick.

Well here I sit at BWI, harking with an upset stomach (as if the throat wasn't enough, lets just add stomach problems into it).  I don't wish traveling sick upon anyone. I am once again reminded of our theme of the summer, thankfulness. The verse to go along was 1 Thessalonians 5:18. "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Even though I feel like absolute crap, I am beyond excited to see some of my favorite people. The fact that I will be reunited with a very special guy in a matter of hours, makes me feel like its Christmas morning all over again. I will also see my family along with many families who have opened their home to me for the next few weeks!

As much as I hate being sick, I am trying my best to give thanks in all circumstances.

The Summer 2014 Race

I knew that over the last six weeks, God was going to teach me many things and guess what, He did.

The first thing he taught me what that as times get stressful or days get long, I need to take each day as it comes. God is with me every step of the way and I need to let him be God. Psalm 10 say, "Be still and know that I am God." I need to let him do his work.

Another I learned was that I'm not at Sandy Cove because I wanted to come. I'm here because God wanted me here. If Jesus is all you have, you have all you need. Day after day I am reminded that I am not alone in this race. God is by my side every step of the way. Together, we will finish this Summer.

The next thing is that God has never failed us and he isn't going to start now. When your car breaks down, that isn't God failing you, that is God showing you that your possessions have no worth when you finish the race of life. God will never let you down.

I also learned that it is time to let go of the past. All of my mistakes, I need to give to God. Isaiah 43:18, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." The rest of your life begins now.

God is the reason you get up every morning and are breathing. He provides you with food, a shower, clean water, and a bed that will be there when you go to bed at night.

God helped me get through each and every day this Summer. Some days were easier than others but not a day was wasted. God is good, all the time.


Reminders

When everyone is doubting my actions, God shows me that I'm ok. Last night at camp we had our final chapel session as a staff. That will be the last time all of us will be together until we see each other in heaven. In that room relationships were built thanks to God who brought us all together.

Morgan McRay is part of the Leadership staff this summer. If you don't know him, you should. He will change your life. I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with him this summer but the time I have been around him, I have seen the example of Jesus. Last night he simply said, "Relationships are beautiful. My heart is full." This is exactly what I needed to hear.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Even when my relationships are separated by 1,800 miles, God reassures us that it is going to be ok. We need to thank God in all circumstances.

God will always reassure you that what you are doing is right, if it is His plan. He will find a way to let you know. Whether it is through Morgan McRay or through a song on the radio, He will find a way to prove to you that you are doing exactly what he wants you to do. However when he does show you, thank him for the reminder.

What Do You Think You Are Doing?

A month before I left for Maryland, I was introduced to a very special man. The month before I left, we spent quite a bit of time together. The day before the big move, we decided that we wanted to try and make it work.

Immediately people decided to put in their two cents. "Why would you start a relationship when you leave?" "Do you know what you are getting yourself into?" However my favorite was from a close friend. She said, "You realize it isn't going to work out, right?" It's hard to be exited for something when the people around you, including friends, are doubting your relationship. Keep in mind, most of these people do not know him at all which made it even harder.

Day after day, I tried not to question my decisions. Every night I was reassured this was the right thing when my phone rang and on the other end was a man who reminded me that everything is going to be ok, that we are going to get through this together, and that he misses me.

There is clearly a reason God put this man in my life.

My biggest regret would have been not trying. Not a single relationship is perfect and not a lot of them start out 1,800 miles apart but God has us meet for a reason. Whether it is to show me that this man isn't the one for me or that he is the one. All I ask is that instead of putting our relationship down, pray for it.

My questions to you is why do we question each other? We constantly ask why people are doing the things they are doing. "Why are you going back to school after 12 years?" "Why would you move away from all of your family for a job?" "Why are you having another child? You already have 4!" There is a reason God has them doing it.

Christian or Human?

Why is that as humans, we filter what we say and do when we are around Christians but the second we are around others we no long filter ourselves? Why do we expect perfection from Christians?

Micah J. Murray, a writer, says it perfectly in his article "I Don't Have My Shit Together." He writes, "I don't want to be a Christian writer if it means that we need to act like we have all our shit together. Because the truth is, we don't."

I have never understood why people think that Christians are perfect. Christians are humans too. Everyone is human.

Most days, I don't have my shit together. I snooze my alarm 5 or 6 times, forget to brush my teeth, often times find myself complaining about things that really don't matter, and the list goes on and on.

I am not perfect but I will proudly say that I am Christian. Please don't expect Christians to be perfect. We are all human.

"Perfect people aren't real and real people aren't perfect. So, you can either love people for their flaws or hate them because they're real."

Summer

What does Summer mean to you? For some it means spending the weekend at the cabin with the family. For others it means four wheeling through trails or a picnic in a field. Maybe it means swimming at the beach or having a bonfire at night with all of your friends. For me, it means Camp.

Camp is packed full with late nights and early mornings, dinner runs, laying out at the pool, working odd hours everyday, and God. Often times at Camp, I needed to reminded that God's the reasons I'm here. I didn't get myself here, He did.

Every Tuesday we are offered a Chapel session for all the staff. Since it is at 10pm, it is often times very hard to stay for it when I have to be awake and alert by 7am the next morning. Last night, I had decided not to go and instead sleep. Come 9:45, I was still wide awake so I decided I would go for the beginning parts. The first worship song was Open Up the Heavens by Meredith Andrews. One of the lines says, "You're the reason we're here. You're the reason we're singing." It was the perfect reminder that God is the reason I'm 1,800 miles away from home. He's the reason I have my wonderful job. He is the reason for this amazing Summer.

I have one person to thank, God. Revelation 4:11 says, "You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." Remember to thank God for today, He's the one who allowed you to breathe another day.

Preparations

Do you ever feel fully prepared for something? Maybe your daughter is getting married and two days prior to the ceremony you feel ready. Or how about the day you start a new job and you get out the door with an hour to spare. Isn't it nice to be prepared? Today, I thought I was prepared and boy, was I wrong. 

For the last week, my two coworkers and I have been preparing for the next 5 weeks of camp. We have been working on how to run the cash register, how to sign people up for parasailing, how to buy meals, and much, much more. About last Wednesday, I felt ready. I felt as though we knew the details and we were ready for our first group of campers. 

Within 30 minutes of my shift, a lightbulb went off in my head, this shift is going to be crazy. When over 600 homeschooled campers show up at camp, all with their own set of questions, chaos sets in. Oh and did I mention when people have questions, they are directed to my two coworkers and I? Needless to say, I loved every minute. I thrive in chaos. But, by the end of our 7 hour shift, it had felt as though we had only been working for 1 hour. It's amazing how time flies when you are having fun. 

Already on Day 1 I have met two families that I know I am going to fall in love with. They are both families that have never been to camp before and I can't wait to see how much fun they have. God is doing some amazing things and it is only Day 1! 

Please keep my coworkers and myself in your prayers this week. Please pray that we not only have patience with the guests but with each other. I also ask that you pray that we all get enough rest. No matter how awesome our job is, we can't thrive if we don't get sleep. I also ask that you pray for the families that are here this week. Many of them come to camp every year and this is routine for them. Pray that they don't find themselves going through the motions. God is good even through the chaos. We may have been prepared but God had other plans! 

Anticipation

Have you ever waited a long time for something? For example, waiting 16 years to get your drivers license or waiting until you are 21 for your first drink. Tomorrow is a day I have been waiting for for over 3 years.

Three years ago I met a girl around my age in the staff dining room at Sandy Cove. We exchanged numbers so we could hang out the following day after we were both off work. The next day, I went to go meet up with her at her job. When I showed up, she was gone. She had appendicitis and had been rushed home. I left camp three days later without having ever hung out with her.

Between daily text messages, calls, and Skype sessions, we became best friends. I couldn't imagine my life with out her. She has been there through the tears and the laughter. She is always encouraging not discouraging.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." found in John 15:13.

I can honestly say I love her. I would take a bullet for her. She has made me a better person and I can't thank God enough for putting her in my life when He did. He put her in my life during a huge transitional stage in life. It is hard to imagine life without her. Hold your friends close, because you never know what God has in store for them or you. He could decide to move them 2,677 miles from you tomorrow.

The wait is over and I can honestly say I probably won't sleep tonight. I anticipate it will be a wonderful visit that neither of us will forget.

June 25th, 2014

Dear Minnesota Caffeine Queen,

Tomorrow you will drop off your Mom at the airport and say your final goodbye. Isaiah 40:31, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Remember that this isn't a time to be sad. No matter how far away you are, you are only a phone call away. You aren't alone in this. Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid of terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

The first night that you get sick will be the worst, (hopefully it isn't the first night). Just remember that when you get sick, you always feel better after. It isn't the most ideal situation, but God has his hand on you the whole time telling you that he is right there with you. Psalm 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

All those nights you can't sleep, will catch up with you. Just remember that you will be working and living with the most accepting people you know. They are there for support and will understand your circumstances. They are there to help you, not put you down.

I can't wait to see how much you grow over this Summer. You will experience new things with new people. Don't forget to open your Bible and pray continuously. You are not alone.

In Him,
Minnesota Caffeine Queen
Written May 20th, 2014
Published June 25th, 2014   
 

Here We Go!

Today was a big day. Today marks the second full day of work at Sandy Cove Ministries. (It really shouldn't be called work because I get paid to hang out with other Christians.)

As I met my coworkers for the first time, our manager decided that our verse for the summer would be John 3:30, "He must become greater; I must become less." This was exactly what I needed to hear.

Often times at camp, I find myself tired and only focusing on myself. This summer I want to strive to make God more. As my team focuses on John 3:30, I want to remind myself daily of Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

At the end of the day, no matter how tired or stressed I am, I need to make time for God and others. "He must become greater; I must become less."

Bad Hair Day

Once summer hits, I could honestly care less about how my hair looks. Humidity does nothing positive for hair. Often times it is either up in bun or down and curly. Part of life is accepting that you aren't perfect and neither are the people around you. For the most part, you can tell what kind of day I'm having by the way I look. If I am in yoga pants and my hair is crazy, it's probably been a really long day. If I'm in a dress and makeup, its probably going pretty well. Next time you see someone who looks like they just suffered from a case of the Mondays, instead of immediately judging them, pray for them and simply smile. It could make their day.

This Could be a Huge Mistake

Think about the biggest mistake you've ever made. Maybe you failed your Chemistry final two days before College graduation and now you have to go back to school for another whole semester.  Or prom night in High School, when you let things go a little too far with your date and you find out there is a baby on the way. It might even be an impulsive decision to take a job 3,000 miles away from home and once you get there, they decide not to hire you. Perhaps it is deciding to divorce your spouse of 20 years. 

Life is all about learning. When you are born, you don't automatically know the alphabet and how each letter sounds and how to spell. You have to learn. Part of learning is making mistakes. That is why on the end of each pencil, there is an eraser. That is there to help you fix your mistakes. One of the best pieces of advice I give kids is that its ok to make mistakes. When they try to pour their own milk on their cereal and the gallon is too heavy for them, you end up with flooded kitchen of milk. In those moments it is very easy to raise your voice or put blame on the child that did it. In times like this, we need to reassure the child and ourselves that mistakes are ok as long as we learn from them. 

If we learn from our mistakes, the mistakes we made will turn into lessons. Through life our lessons will turn into our story. Your story is something that no one else can write except for you and God. Your story is important and God isn't done writing your story yet. In the future there will be more mistakes and some of them will be bigger than others. 

In two days, I might be making the biggest mistake of my life. Moving 1,200 miles from home, without a job, and attending a school I've never visited might not be the smartest decision. If this turns into a mistake, it will be the greatest lesson ever. This mistake will be part of my story for the rest of my life. Turn your mistakes into lessons and let the lessons help you tell your story.

Life

Never have I been told by someone, "Life is so easy." For a two year old, life is easy but it isn't always going to be that way. Part of life is decisions. These decisions may just be what you are going to have for dinner or where you plan on getting gas after work. However some decisions are far from easy. The decision on where to go to college, what you will study, how you will pay for it and if you don't go to school, how do you plan on getting a job, where will you live? In life, we often hope that things are handed to us or that once we have a bachelors degree, finding and keeping a job until retirement will be a breeze.

Someone told me recently that once I get married, everything will be easier. I'm not married and I don't plan on getting married tomorrow but I know better than to believe that marriage will make life easier. My parents have been married over 25 years and they would say that marriage isn't always flowers and butterflies. Financially, mentally, and emotionally, it can get very exhausting.

However, I can only imagine how much children add onto the financial, mental, and emotional exhaustion in a marriage. Children aren't born fed, clothed, and educated.  In high school I often heard, "If we had a baby, we'd still be together." The only reason you would still be together is because babies aren't free. By the time a baby gets to be 18 it will cost about $100,000. I don't know about you but when I was a senior in high school, I will living off the change in my car.

Now I don't want this post to be degrading but lately I've been overestimating how easy life is. I think that I know how my next 5 years look and honestly it's all crap. Only God knows what the future holds and believe me, nobody will have an easy life.

Life is hard. As humans we need to accept this and move on.  We can't dwell on the past and let it haunt us today. We also need to be careful about how much we rub our life in other peoples faces. When you have something exciting happening in your life, make sure that you aren't seeking out a reason to talk about it. On the flip side, people also don't want to hear about how terrible your life has been all the time.  Negative people can be very hard to spend time with. I know that I have a friend who deals with a lot of medical problems and often times will look for sympathy. It's a part of our friendship that takes a lot of patience. Just remember that God knows what is going on in your life and there is a reason that he has those things occurring. Life is hard. The day you accept that and move on, you will feel better about yourself and your decisions.

Dr. Seuss

For a female, I'm not nearly as emotional as other females. It takes me either getting really mad to make me cry or someone close passing away. However, recently I have turned into an emotional wreck. I've started saying goodbyes and experiencing lasts with everything I do. Everything from hugging a friend from high school to just thinking about not seeing friends on a regular basis causes me to lose it. 

This past week has been a roller coaster full of emotions. One minute I am so excited to go and then the next minute I'm thinking about life without family and friends. It is rare that I find a quote that I like but when I came across a Dr. Seuss one, I had to stop and think about it. Dr. Seuss said, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." I can't help but to smile about how blessed I am. I am thankful for the families that continue to open their homes from me and for letting me love their children. I am thankful for my close friends who put up with my crazy life. I am thankful for every second spent with family and friends. 

In the moments that tears start to stream down my face, my heart will be smiling. Life isn't over, it's just changing for a period of time. Please pray that these changes go smoothly and that I focus on the smiling rather than the crying. 

20 Seconds

I truly may never understand why God puts someone in your life to just take them away. My big move happens in less than two weeks and recently God has put some people in my life that I wish would just move with me. Lately all thats been running through my head is "Why am I even going?" However, if I don't go, I will never have known what it would have been like. This blog isn't for others purposes but for my own. If I don't move, I will never have known what it would have been like. 

When its 11pm and I'm crusing on a motorcycle gazing at the stars, I wonder why am I going? Then I remind myself that God's timing is perfect. There is a reason he put this amazing guy in my life. I may not know it right now, but I hope that someday it explains itself. 

In the movie We Bought a Zoo, Benjamin Mee says, "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it." The day I leave for the East Coast, I hope to have that twenty seconds of courage that I did just the other night before the motorcycle ride. 

James 1:2-3 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." I pray that in this situation, I find joy. I am already beyond thankful for the amazing people God has put in my life. 

The Worst Excuse

As I was listening to the radio the other day, one of the people that called in was bragging about how stupid she was as a 20 year old. She talked about sleeping around, trying every drug in the book, and how many guys she slept with. She said it was her "stupid stage" and that everyone went through it when they turn 20. That was the lamest excuse I had ever heard.

As a 21 year old I don't feel that I ever went through a stupid stage. I made plenty of mistakes but I certainty don't brag about them on public radio. So why do people make up the excuses?

Personally I feel that as humans, it is hard for us to admit our faults. I will be the first one to say that I have an extremely hard time admitting my wrongs. Instead of admitting our faults, we find excuses. Why do we believe that these excuses are ok?

As a human, we find every way we can to be right. No two people believe in the exact same things. Whether it is politics, religion, or simply how to raise a child, there will always be a problem. Our problems turn into our mistakes, which then turns into our excuse.

When we finally admit we were wrong, we won't have to blame our "stupid stage" for what we did. The only person to blame is us. We are to blame.

So, what is next? The simplest advice: Admit your faults. I truly believe some of the wisest people I know are the ones that will admit their wrongs. The sooner you do it, the better you will feel in the long run. No matter how old you are, don't find yourself stuck in a "stupid stage".

Disappointment

After putting together 1999 pieces to a puzzle, you realize there is 1 missing. Now there is no way you will be able to complete it. The piece is gone. 

You take your favorite pair of jeans out of your drawer. The new shirt you bought is going to go with them perfectly. As you put them on, you realize that there is a large grease stain on the front pant leg. 

You order two pieces of material from an online store. When they arrive 6 days later, the one piece has holes all over in it. You now have to wait 6 more day for the new piece to arrive. 

Disappointment is defined as the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations. What really disappoints you? Are you willing to let one piece of a puzzle, or a pair of jeans, or a piece of cloth ruin your attitude? Is one puzzle piece going to ruin you day? In life, there will be disappointments. People are going to let you down, your job isn't always going to be easy, and your car can crap out on you. 

As you go on with your day or you week, think about how your disappointing situation's can bring you joy. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "Give thanks in all circumstances; For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." God didn't put us on this life to be miserable. He simply wants us to be happy. So no matter what happens, find joy in today.

All Alone

Every now and then I really enjoy just driving my car with the radio turned up.

At that time, I can sing as loud as I want.

Nobody is watching me and nobody is listening.

It is just me, being able to be me.

For those few minutes, I don't have a care in the world.

In those moments, I am infinite.

SuperBowl 2018

Today it was decided that the 52nd SuperBowl would be held in none other but the beautiful State of Minnesota.

The only place I will ever truly be able to call home is Minnesota. Between living in a small town all my life, and moving to a huge city right out of high school, I have realized that Minnesota offers everything.

Summer is full of humid, 100 degree, mosquito filled days. Winter is completely opposite. It will get down to -50 degrees as ice and snow cover every surface outside. We define extreme when it comes to weather.

I wouldn't change a thing about Minnesota. Every little aspect of this State, makes it home. I look forward to the first time I come home and as I'm walking off the plane, I can breathe in a fresh breath of freezing cold Minnesota air.

Thank you Minnesota for allowing me to call you home.

What if I get sick?

After a long day, sometimes I can't help wondering if I am going to be ok moving 1,200 miles away from home. Certain scenarios play through my head over and over again. What will happen if I don't find a job? If my car breaks down, who would I call? What if I get sick?

The last one is the question is the one that bothers me the most. I have gotten sick away from home plenty of times, but I also know in the end, I can be home in an hour or two. When I move, I can't just drive home if I don't feel good.

The other day on Facebook, a friend of mine asked me to share my favorite verse. I knew which verse I wanted to post, but it just wasn't ever convenient to post it. Tonight, after a very long, time consuming day, I posted it; Isaiah 58:9, "Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; You will cry for help, and He will say: Here I am."

That was exactly what I needed to hear tonight. It was as if God was telling me to wait to post it until He knew I needed to hear it the most. I can almost guarantee that when I move, I will get sick. It happens every now and then, and I never know when it is going to happen. In that moment, I just pray that I am reminded of Isaiah 58:9. "You will cry for help, and He will say: Here I am."

Your Heart

Just a few short years ago my Grandfather was having heart problems. At one point, he flat lined. Today he has his flat line sitting on his bookshelf.

I didn't realize how scary and complex your heart is. When someone says they have a fragile heart, they mean it. We all have fragile hearts.

A little over a week ago my Grandmother had heart surgery. This surgery had only been performed 5 other times. As we gathered around her to pray before surgery, we could hear her heart monitor beating. While it was beating, all I could think to myself was please don't stop. As a family we asked God to be with the Doctors and Nurses during the surgery. Most importantly, we asked to watch over Grandma.

Less than 24 hours later, she got to go home. God is so good.

God is constantly changing our heart. Whether fixing it or stopping it, He has a plan. I am continuously thankful that my Grandparents have beating hearts and are living and breathing.

This surgery made me reevaluate my heart. Do I have things I need to fix? Can I fix them on my own or do I need God's help?

Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Discouragement

While in the process of moving 1,200 miles from home, it has become a very discouraging time for me. I am surrounded by amazing people in my hometown who repetitively ask me why I would leave. Over the past three months, it has become very discouraging.

When deciding if I should move or not, a close friend just kept asking why. The only answer I could come up with was, "Because God keeps opening up doors and I feel that if I don't go through them, I'll regret it later." In all honesty, why would I leave home? My education is here, my church family is here, and my family is here. The only reason to go is God. Yet somehow in this move, I feel alone and that has left me very discouraged.

A month ago, I attended a Verspers (Worship) service at a college that one of my best friends attends. The worship leader started off the service by saying, "Remember that no matter what, You are in the palm of God's hand." It was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm not going through this alone.

Instead of discouraging someone to try something new, encourage them. It will make all the difference in the world.

Poor Stomach's Resolution

Reasons why I don't set a New Years Resolution
#1 I forget about it 2 weeks in.
#2 I hate letting myself down.

Those two things go hand in hand. However, after multiple doctors trips and blah, blah, blah, I'm going to finally try and start testing out certain foods. For a couple weeks/months at a time, I want to give up something and see how my body reacts. I'm also going to start trying old foods that made me sick, and see if my body still doesn't like them.

I'm calling this my "Poor Stomach's Resolution." I'm still baffled how I even still have a stomach after all that it has gone through but I'm going to try and start treating it a little bit better. For all of May, I want to give up Pop (I was thinking about caffeine but I can't give up my Caribou Coffee just yet). I know it may not seem like much, but it's just a start. Some people say go big or go home, well I'm already at home so I'll start small this time.

May challenge? No Pop. Let's go!

Saving Mr. Banks

Overall, I truly enjoy a good children's movie but I'm also a sucker for love stories. However I'm not normally a fan of documentaries/biographical comedies. Saving Mr. Banks changed my mind. From the beginning of the movie to last scene, I was glued. I highly advise you to watch Mary Poppins before you watch it because there are a lot of key things that I caught having watching Mary Poppins prior.

At the very beginning of Mary Poppins (1964), Bert says, "Winds in the East, mist coming in. Like something is brewing, about to begin. Can't put my finger on what lies in store, but I fear what's to happen, all happened before."

If you look back now. This song that starts off Mary Poppins is telling us that this story has happened before. It is the story of Pamela Lyndon Travers's childhood. In 2013, Saving Mr. Banks was released. Saving Mr. Banks started off the same way as Mary Poppins. "Winds in the East, mist coming in. Like something is brewing, about to begin. Can't put my finger on what lies in store, but I fear what's to happen, all happened before."

Pamela Lyndon Travers told her story, now it's your turn.