Well, I'm over it.

Today while driving to work I heard a song on the radio and there were a few lines that I heard that I couldn't stop thinking about. Besides the few lines that stuck out to me, the rest of the song is very weird. So, just keep that in mind.  In Mary Lambert's song Secrets, it says, "My family is dysfunctional but we have a good time killing each other. They tell us from the time we're young to hide the things that we don't like about ourselves inside ourselves. I know I'm not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else. Well I'm over it. I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are."

So here are my secrets…

I have slept on my bathroom floor more than ten times in the last three years. With all my stomach issues, sometimes a cold tile floor will cure even the crappiest stomach ache. However every night, God was there with me with His hand on me reminding me that he is there with me.

People assume my family is perfect. Yes, we have traveled the world together and met famous people, but trust me, the word dysfunctional doesn't even begin to explain my family. However, God has and will always be the most important person in our family and that is all that matters.

I am scared to death to fall in love. Not just falling in love, but committing to a marriage. Being 21 years old, I don't know the secrets to making a relationship work. I mean come on.. Who does? The answer is God. A close friend reminded me today that, "A man makes his plans, but God directs his steps."

I constantly question myself. Am I going to the right school? Am I living in the right place? Will I regret the decisions I'm making? I'm constantly over thinking things as well. Often times I will question myself to the point of stressing myself to tears. Somehow, God always takes care of it.

So, my secret is easy: It's God. In every situation, every relationship, and everyday, I need to trust God's plan. Day after day, God has made my path clear. He directs me exactly where he wants me.

In December, I plan to move back to Minnesota. God has opened unexpected doors for me and financially, this is the best decision. Thankfully, I won't have to transfer schools again and I will still be able to graduate in less than a year. My plan was to stay in Maryland as long as I could and possibly move here permanently. However, God had different plans. I look forward to seeing what God has planned next and to remember that God will help me through every situation, every relationship, and everyday.