Training Wheels and Trees

How often do you try something new? Do you ever decide to challenge yourself?

As a children often do, they challenge us. If we tell them they can't climb the tree, they do. When we tell them not to take their training wheels off, they break them off. When they do these things it can normally go two ways; good and bad. When it goes bad, they learn their lesson and normally will receive a punishment or consequence. On the flip side, when they succeed and prove us wrong, they find fulfillment and pride. Both good and bad, lessons are learned.

Are you willing to take your training wheels off? Or maybe it is time to climb that big tree.

Are you in a storm?

Sometimes it takes the storms in life to show us how strong we truly are. Maybe this season you aren't sure how you are going to pay your heating bill. Or maybe you lost your husband and are not a single mom with 4 young children. It might even be the frustration of where to go to school this Spring. These are all examples of life's storms. James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

Maybe the smooth route is the easier way to go, but are you testing yourself? By taking the easier route, will you grow?

"A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor."

What good is that?

When you enter a church around Christmas time, you will notice something under the tree. In most cases, it is baby Jesus in a manger. What is under your tree at home? Presents, right? Dad is getting a new battery powered drill, Mom is getting a new bathrobe, Brother is getting a new high-tech remote control car, and Sister gets a new makeup set. Christmas morning is full of excitement. Those presents that were wrapped, are now unwrapped to be used. Imagine unwrapping the gifts and then leaving them under the tree. What good do those gifts do just sitting under the tree? The greatest gift of all was given to us through a baby on Christmas day, Jesus Christ.

What good is Jesus if he just stays under the tree? You can see him, but you don't use him. Until you accept that fact that you need Jesus in your life, he will just sit there. That day when you finally decide that you need Jesus, he won't be under the tree anymore, he will be in your heart with you every second of every day. However, you can't just leave him there. Once you accept him, you need to take ownership for him to be valuable. You need to value him. You need to tell other about him and the miracles he has worked in your life. 

Jesus is the only way to eternal life. He is the difference between eternal life in heaven or eternal life in hell. In Revelation it talks about how when you decide to make the decision to live a life for Jesus, when Jesus decides your time on earth has come to an end, He will be there to greet you and streets will be made of gold. However, hell is nothing like heaven. Hell is described in the bible as a fiery pit, pits of darkness, eternal punishment. Just a few punishments in hell are no rest by day or night, destruction, and the weeping and gnashing of teeth. It sounds harsh but its the truth. You have to make the decision. 

This Christmas are you going to leave Jesus wrapped up under your tree? If you unwrap him, will you use him? In Matthew 17 verse 20 Jesus says, "Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." All it takes is a seed. Once you have that seed, sow your seed so others can experience the joy you have. 

Preparations

How does your family prepare for Christmas? 

If we are lucky, we will put up a tree. Some years we chose to not put up a tree because we travel a lot around Christmas and we aren't home to appreciate it. We also have 2 movies that we have to watch before Christmas day or it just doesn't feel like Christmas. 

"Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?" The first one is Elf. If you need a good laugh, this is the Christmas movie for you. "Santa! I know him!" This is a story of family, patience, and love. I don't want to spoil it for anyone so I won't say too much more but remember, "The best way to spread Christmas cheer, is sing loud for all to hear."

"You'll shoot your eye out." The second movie is The Christmas Story. "How do the piggies eat?" This  is a story of a young boy who just wants a BB gun but everyone tells him that he will shoot his eye out. Again, if you need something to get you into the Christmas spirit, this movie will do the trick. "Wow! Whoopie, a Zeppelin!"

Movies are just a small part of Christmas preparation in our house but think about the special things that your family does. Every year those things will mean more and more to your family. Even if it is just taking an hour out of your day to watch a movie, it will mean the world to your family. Merry Christmas Eve everyone! Be blessed! 

5 words.

For the past two weeks, I have had the background on my phone set to a common saying. I set it as a reminder to myself to take a breath and keep going. With finals and holiday chaos, I sometimes find myself thinking about the next day or the next week. I don't really do the whole "New Years Resolution" thing but I will say that sometimes its the little reminders you set for yourself that help you out. Sometimes I will hide verses in cupboards so I stop for a second and read God's word. Put your bible in your backpack, that way when you find yourself with down time, you don't have the excuse of its not with you. I want to leave you with these five simple words. Think about them and maybe write them down somewhere to remind yourself to stop and just take a breath. Be here today incase you aren't here tomorrow.

One day at a time.

Black Hair? Red Hair? Who cares?

Since a very young age my parents have told me to be myself, not someone else. I have never been one that wants to fit it. In my family there is no such thing as being normal. What happens when someone criticizes you for not being normal? Do you want to fit in or be original?

When I turned 15 or 16 I decided to do some different things with my hair. Naturally, I have very dark brown hair. One year for school I decided to try going jet black. I loved it but my friends referred to me as "goth" or "freaky." I never wore any black makeup or clothes so they were calling me these things just because of my hair.  Well a couple months ago I decided to try going dark red. I loved it. The color turned out a dark maroon. Again, instead of commenting on my hair, they went straight for, "Why would you want purple hair?" and "It makes you look weird." I found it odd that my boss didn't even realize I had done it but my friends who I see maybe once a month realized. Will I ever be good enough for my friends?

Since I was 8, I have struggled with my health, especially my weight. I have always been right in the normal weight zone except for my senior year in high school. When I was diagnosed with thyroid problems, I dropped 20 pounds extremely fast. My stomach just wasn't soaking up the vitamins and minerals I needed and I became very weak. By graduation in June, I had gained the weight back and was eating normally. It was a relief for both my family and myself. In late June, I decided that I wanted to go play Ultimate Frisbee with some friends. Keep in mind that these friends hadn't seen me for over a year and they had no idea what had been going on. The first thing one of my close friends said to me was, "Looks like you already gained your Freshman 15." I ended up leaving the game and went home in tears.

I know I am not perfect but it takes so much not to just tear apart my friends that have torn me apart. I could easily throw fat jokes out there or balding jokes. Instead I just ignore it but then I dwell on it. I know my friends don't purposely hurt me, but why say those things to begin with?

It has taken a long time for me to accept that God created us all individually, exactly how he wants us. In his eyes, we are perfect. As humans, we always want to be the next model or next athlete. What if for just a day, we were happy with our body? Don't ever try to impress someone. Be yourself. Be original, just the way God created you to be. You are good enough.

The Red Letters

In most Bibles you will notice that there is black letters and some red. Someone asked me what the significance is with the red letters. The red letters are Jesus's words. Those are things that he spoke of while he was here on earth. What does the "red letters" talk about? To put very simply, the band dctalk released a song called The Red Letters. The chorus went, "There is love in the red letters. There is truth in the red letters. There is hope for the hopeless, peace, and forgiveness. There is life in the red letters."

My favorite word to describe the love Jesus has for us is unconditional. He will never let us down. He will always love us. In 1 Corinthians 13 it describes Jesus's love and how to use the greatest gift, which is love. In verse 2 it says boldly, "If I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." The word nothing is not used lightly. He wants us to know that we have to love. He died on the cross for our sins. That is the ultimate sacrifice of love. He loved us so much that he was willing to be whipped, beat, wear a crown of thorns, and be hung on a cross for all to see, just so that we can live today. Jesus is love.

John 8:32 says, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Until you know the truth, you will not be free. You have to accept the truth that Jesus died for you. When you do accept the truth that he did that and you decide to follow him the rest of his days, you will be free. What is even better, is you will be with him the rest of your days. You will spend eternity with him.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19. When the Bible was written, the fastest way to travel a long distance was by boat. For the most part, boats are very safe in good weather. However it is very risky when there is a storm while traveling by boat. Storms could appear anytime while traveling. When the bad weather would come upon them they would let down the anchor to keep the boat in a safe, secure place. The idea of an anchor helps us understand the idea of hope for Christians. Sometimes life can seem unsafe or uncertain, just like boats in a storm. Nevertheless, boats can be safe even during a storm if their anchor holds firm to the ground.  When we join God, we are safe even through the storms. We may be weak, but God is strong.

In red letters at the end of John chapter 16 Jesus says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." This verse is saying, instead of turning to worldly things, appreciate that in Jesus, you will have peace. This verse was when Jesus was preparing the disciples for his death. Jesus told the disciples them that their mourning and grieving will turn to joy. Jesus knew that when he was put to death the world would rejoice. Jesus wanted to reassure the disciples that even when he died that he would still be with them, and in that they will find joy.

Faithfulness is defined as true to one's word, promises, and vows. It can also be defined as reliable, trusted, or believed. Lamentations 3:23 says, "(His mercies) They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness." We should be 100% reliable on Jesus. Every morning we should wake up and immediately thank God for another day he has given us.

Reading red letters in the Bible helps me to understand the Bible even more. It is almost as if a story is being told, but Jesus actually said these things. It makes it even more real for me. This is a book full of the greatest lessons you could learn. If you don't know where to start, I suggest either reading through Matthew 5&6 or the humbling story of when Jesus washed the disciples feet in John 13. In the red letters there is love, truth, hope, peace, and faithfulness. Live a life for Jesus and I promise you that you will not regret it.

Time for a Vacation

Where does your family go on vacation? How long do you go for? What do you bring with you? Does your whole family go? This Christmas morning will not be spent unwrapping gifts, but instead it will be spent at the airport with my family. It has been over three years since we have seen my Mothers side of the family and I am more than excited to see them.

My question to you, is what do you bring with you? Do you bring with you the necessities or do you add more? This is the first time traveling as a family that we are not checking any luggage. Yes, that means we all have to fit one weeks worth of necessities in two carry ons. Where do I start? My plan is to put as many clothes into one bag. That way I can put that bag in an overhead bin and not have to worry about it. In my backpack I will put my book, computer, and my trusty pillow.

Imagine if this Christmas, we didn't have clothes, books, computers, pillows, or even bags to put that stuff in. Imagine never seeing your family again. This Christmas be thankful for what you have. It may be as simple as having a working furnace. Sometimes as humans we aren't grateful for what we have. We live in a world that is always wanting more. I encourage you during this season to be thankful. I am more than thankful for my family, my home, and this little vacation I am about to take. Have a Merry Christmas. Be Blessed.

What do you think?

For the most part, I try and avoid any politic talk. I am not huge into researching certain topics. However with all the hype with A&E and Duck Dynasty, I want you to know what I think. Since I was young, my parents told me that I need to decide what to believe for myself and not base what I believe on what others say. I respect what others believe and what they have to say. If I lose friends over this post, I am truly sorry.

The year I graduated high school, one of my closest friends told me that she was a lesbian. I was shocked but accepted her for the way she is and she did the same for me. 

Less than a year later another close friend admitted that he was gay. This didn't surprise me. We too accepted each other and went on in life.

On November 6th, 2012 my faith was put to the test. That was the day to vote on whether MN was to pass the same-sex marriage amendment. I had to vote how I felt. I do not agree with same-sex marriage.  I personally think that biblically it is wrong. It is a sin. However, one sin is no different than another, and I completely understand that but I personally feel and believe that God meant for one man and one women relationships. 

I know that one day both of my friends will be happily married. In my heart, I just feel that it is not right. All I can do is pray for them. If one day a family member admitted to being gay, I would accept that just like my friends and treat them no different than my other family members. I would love them just the same. 

I encourage you to stand up for what you believe in. Exodus 14 says, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Finals

Two weeks a year for a student is finals. When all the knowledge they have been taught over a semester is put into one test. If they pass the test, they pass the class. If they fail, they fail the class. Finals week should just be named Stress week. In one week, my college will hold their Fall finals. I got extremely lucky this semester because I only have two finals. However, I know people who have 5, 6, and 7 finals. I couldn't imagine.

How do you get through finals week without feeling like you are dying? Unfortunately, I don't have the answers but I can give you suggestions. First off, drink coffee and eat plenty of chocolate. It's only a week, it's not going to kill you to eat unhealthy for a week. Secondly, pace yourself. Everyone likes to cram, including me. When you are cramming, you still need to give your self breaks. Don't stress yourself out so bad that you aren't sleeping and getting sick. Getting sick is the last thing you want to happen during finals week. Lastly, take time off from work. Even if it is just one shift or a day. Your boss will understand.

Don't freak out. They will be over soon enough. Go get a Caribou Coffee and take a nap. You will be thankful for the time you put into studying. It will show in the end.

It's the little things.

"It's all about the little things." For many years, I didn't understand this. Isn't life about the big things like getting your drivers license, graduating high school, getting married, and having kids? Those are big things right? I would agree that, yes, those are big things in someones life. But is life just about the big things? Should you only focus on the big things?

At a baby shower this summer, I met a really good friend. We actually met by flicking a purple dragon across a table. Weird right? Well the next night we would spend 3-4 hours in an emergency room because I broke someones cheek with my foot. Then the next night we stayed up until 5 am talking. Even though we don't talk regularly, I treasure this friendship. It's the little things.

Driving home from a movie with your best friend and a classic Christmas song comes on. What do you do? Well of course you crank it up and belt it out. It's the little things.

Before I leave work, I try and remember to tell the little girl I nanny that I love her. The best part is when she responds with, "I know and I love you too. Will I see you tomorrow?" Even though I see her almost everyday, I love when she asks that after she tells me she loves me. It's the little things.

So, should you only focus on the big things? No, because you will miss all the little things that have more of an impact on your life than the big things.

I'm Texting from the Jersey Shore on my New iPhone.

Technology and Reality. What do those two things have in common?

A month before my 16th birthday I received my first cell phone. All I could do on it was call people. It didn't have texting, internet, games, or Facebook. Technology is helping our culture connect. We can not always see eye to eye with people older and younger. Technology has helped that connection become possible. We are able to talk to our friends in Spain, Ecuador, or even California with just a click of a button. However technology is playing a huge part in people's social life. We would rather text someone than call them. The growing generations don't know how to have a normal phone conversation. They turn to texting, Twitter, Facebook, etc. When will reality hit these generations? Will it be when they sit down for a job interview and don't know how to respond? Will it happen the day their phone breaks? Reality is changing and happening everyday.

Television isn't helping. Reality TV is giving us unrealistic examples of how life works. "Oh you know, in the Summers we just go down to the Jersey Shore and drink and smoke and sleep around." Oh, because that is what Summer is for. Isn't Summer a time when you are to take a break from school or work? Or how about the shows that tell you that all you have to do is marry someone rich? Oh, because that will make you happy. Life isn't all about money. Granted, you do have to work hard to succeed in life, but you can do that on your own. When will reality hit these next generations?

Reality keeps hitting me in the face. However, I remember a moment that was pretty big.  Two days before I was supposed to move into a new college, my finical advisor called. He said that my financial aid didn't go through and that I owed my school about $22,000. Well there was no way I was going to get that much money in two days. I couldn't even get a loan that fast. My world crumbled in front of me. I was 18, wasn't in school, no job, living at home, and have student loans to pay off from a previous school. Reality hit. I wasn't in high school anymore. My problems were solved by missing a day of school to relieve stress. That is when I decided to apply to state school and I have loved it ever since. I wouldn't change my reality check because I needed it, but I would suggest that you remember that at any moment your world can crumble in front of you. When that happens, you need to turn to one person. Jesus Christ.

Isaiah 7:9 says, "If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." Stand up for what you believe in. Don't rely on your phone or compare yourselves to the stars on TV. They have made mistakes too. Nicole Elizabeth Polizzi was born on November 23rd, 1987. In 2009 she signed her contract with MTV to be on the show Jersey Shore. She says that she wasted away 5 Summers of her life: drinking, partying, etc. In 2012 her life would change for the better. She found out she was pregnant and immediately did a 180 in life. She cut her bad habits and decided to be the best mom she could to her son. Nicole isn't perfect, and she admits that, but she turned her life around. She had reality thrown in her face and didn't know how to handle it.

Instead of turning to social media, drinking, partying, or smoking, turn to someone who you can always rely on. God is with you every step of the way. He even says that he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Make this season of joy and love, full of things you won't regret. Don't let reality hit you in the face.

Specifics

Today we celebrate Thanksgiving. A day of the year we are thankful for family, friends, etc.  A couple weeks back I wrote a list of 28 things I was thankful for, here are a few more things I am thankful for.

Saturday mornings are probably my favorite time of the week. I wake up in my big, warm bed. I'm normally wrapped up in my sherpa and down comforter with one pillow on each side of me. After finally dragging myself out of my warm cocoon, I head for the kitchen. For breakfast there are bagels with cream cheese, toast with peanut butter, cereal with 2% milk, or somedays Mom will even make homemade french toast or waffles. I am thankful for Saturday mornings.

After a long day of school or work, it is nice to just sit in my quiet room. Some nights I will come home with messages from friends saying, "Watch this YouTube video." The times I receive these messages are the times that I sit in my bed and thank God for my amazing friends. It's almost as if they know I've had a rough day and they know just the thing to cheer me up. I am so thankful for my friends.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. I am thankful that everyday I have the freedom to open my Bible. I am thankful to live in a country that lets people believe in what they choose.

No matter what circumstances you are in, give thanks this season. Show people you are thankful for them. Whether you help prepare dinner today with your family, help with the dishes wherever you are celebrating, or just telling someone that you are thankful for them, show your thanks. This is God's will for you in Jesus Christ. Be blessed.

Leaving a Legacy

If you died today, what kind of legacy would you leave? Are you proud of your past? 

These questions do not have simple answers. When your kids tell your grandkids stories about you, will they be good stories or stories of lessons they learned from your mistakes? Will your children be proud to tell others about you and your achievements? 

I've said before that we can't change our past. However we can examine the decisions we are making right now and decide if we will be proud of them once they are part of the past. Time is ticking but I hope your legacy is growing. 

All this time...

Do you ever think, "Could my life get any crazier than it is right now?" I do all the time. Today was one of those days.

Even though I am on Thanksgiving break from school, I still have work to do everyday. With four days straight of Thanksgiving meals, which I am not complaining about at all, I have to find time to write three papers, take two quizzes online, and manage to work through six math assignments. Granted, I will probably wait until hours before they are due to start them but I still have to find the time.

After Thanksgiving break there is only two weeks of classes left then one week of finals. This semester has flown by yet it will not end. As I want school to end sooner than later, I want to soak in this time. Many of my older peers say that they wish they could go and experience school all over again. I'm sure that will be me someday but at the moment, I'm ready to be done. After finals there is only a few days until Christmas.

My all time favorite time of the year is Christmas. This year I am fortunate to get to celebrate more than once. On Christmas day my family and I will board a plane for California. After spending 6 days with my Mothers side of the family we will pack up and head for home. When we arrive back here we will then celebrate my Fathers Family Christmas over a wonderful brunch. Then one of my favorites will be held January 4th. I will finally get to give the family I nanny for their gifts.

Less than two weeks after the New Year begins, school will start again. I'm already dreading it. Life is going to keep getting crazier. I don't even have a husband, kids, or a full time job to make it crazier. When life is crazy we just need to remember one thing: Jesus. No matter where we are, who we are with, or what we are going, we need to remember to thank him for this time we have on Earth. Every second matters.

Timing is Everything

Two years ago I lost a little buddy of mine, he was only 12 years old. It happened in house fire, luckily he wasn't burned, he passed away from the smoke. I really struggled with his passing. Why would God take someone so young? Why would you put this family through a tragedy after having lost their mother a year earlier and their dad in this accident? I thought you were a God of good? I struggled with why, why, why, when I was failing at noticing that the answers were right in front of me. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 reads, "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him." Instead of asking God why, why, why, He says, as a christian you need to believe that they are in heaven. My little buddy was not one to miss church. No matter how cold it was outside or how hard it was raining, he was always there. As a reminder for myself, I have written the name Coleman next to this verse to always remember that he is where God wanted him.

Today God decided it was Taylor's time to go. I met Taylor 2 months after I graduated high school and we became friends right away. Her and I both loved to laugh and would do anything to get the other rolling on the floor laughing. Between roaring for all of downtown Minneapolis to hear to her farting so loud and long that I was dying, she became very important in my life. Even though she couldn't smell her farts, she took much pride in making others smell it. After about 6 months I decided to move, this move however didn't cause us to drift. We had many Skype talks and many texting conversations over the past two years. Less than 3 months ago I met up with her at the Caribou Coffee she worked at and she made my whole family our coffees. We greeted each other with a hug and said our "See you laters" with a hug. However, this would be the last earthly hug I would receive. At the age of two she was to fix four of the arteries in her heart. Well. because of no health insurance she didn't go in for six years. This caused her heart to stop and put her into a cardiac arrest just five days ago. After many tests and longs days of waiting, God decided that today was her day to meet him. Psalm 23:4 says, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Taylor knew that God was with her all the time. She wasn't afraid to listen to what God was telling her. In a few short weeks, Taylor was planning on moving to Louisiana, but God had other plans for her. God was planning to take her to his ultimate destination. I can only imagine the joy on Taylor's face as she met her Creator. I am so proud and blessed to have gotten to know Taylor over these past few years. God has Taylor exactly where he wants her.

Sudden deaths are a struggle for everyone. I watched a video once and it was showing a group of people walking down the street. Each person had a clock above their head and it was counting down. Some people had years on their clock, others had minutes. Don't abuse the time on your clock. Are you wasting the time on your clock? Are you doing what God wants you to be doing or are you doing your own thing? If God decided this was your time to go, would you be happy with the life you have lived?

What Are You Thankful For?

I am thankful for...

1. Parents that supports me in all I do.
2. A washing machine and a dryer.
3. A car that gets me from point A to point B.
4. My bed.
5. Clothes.
6. Long-distance friendships.
7. Peanut butter.
8. An education.
9. Rainy nights.
10. A job.
11. Anybody that have served our country in the past, present, or the future.
12. Sunsets and Sunrises.
13. Saturday mornings.
14. Friends that have been there for all 20 years of my life.
15. Skype.
16. Music.
17. Teachers.
18. A brother who I can drive crazy and love at the same time.
19. All my Aunts, Uncles, Grandpas, Grandmas, and Cousins.
20. The Men and Women who are examples of Christ in my life.
21. The Family I nanny for.
22. Vacations.
23. Good health.
24. My junior high girls small group.
25. World leaders.
26. My chickens.
27. Laughter.
28. A God that is with me in all circumstances no matter who I'm with, where I am, or what I'm doing.

It's a Small World After All

I know I'm not the first person to think this but if you have ever gone to a Disney Amusement park, there is a slight chance that you rode on the "It's a Small World" ride. Frankly, I think this is the most annoying song/ride ever and for the next week, I will have the song stuck in my head.  However, have you ever met someone and thought to yourself, this is such a small world?

After knowing some friends of ours from Maryland for over 3 years, we realized that we have a mutual friend. Where it gets even crazier is, our mutual friend is from Tennessee. So from Minnesota, to Maryland, to Tennessee there is a connection. This is a small world.

My brother and I grew up watching black and white VHS's. I know that might seem to some that I sound super old and to others I sound young, but just stick with me. In a Pink paper case was a video of the original Alfalfa episodes. The original Alfalfa was played by Carl Switzer.  When I was old enough to understand family connections, my Mother explained that I was related to him. My mind was blown. If I remember correctly, he is my Great-Grandmothers Cousin. So, this means we are blood related. What is even crazier is if you look at my Mother's baby pictures, you can see a resemblance. This is a small world.

I truly don't believe in coincidences, I think everything that happens is the way God planned it to be. You don't just happen to run into someone you haven't seen in a long time, or meet someone while you are in a foreign country that knows your college roommate. God has it all planned out perfectly. Next time this happens to you, I encourage you to look up to God and just give him a little thanks. It's a small world after all.

I am Ready for the Wait

Somedays I feel like I am the only person my age not married, having a kid, or engaged. Honestly, I am so thankful that I am not in any of those stages in life. I am so content at where I am in life, I'm not sure there is someone who could make me a happier person. In the future I hope to have a wonderful marriage and eventually my own family. But I am so happy with where I am. It took me many years, mostly the teen years, to realize that a man/woman can't make you happy.

Marriage is such a huge decision in life. You are making a covenant, between your husband and God, not a contract. God created the idea of marriage and He designed it exactly how He wanted it. He knows what marriages need to survive. God wanted it to be a holy covenant. When you get married you make a solemn vow before God and your loved ones.  If you asked me today if I am ready to be married, my answer is very simple; no. I am way to immature when it comes to life and I have a lot to learn.  God will show me his plan, whether it is next month or in 10 years, God will know then that I am ready.

I have really struggled in life with purity. It is something that is not taken seriously in our culture. The Bible takes purity very seriously and says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins again his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
This is such a simple yet complex idea, the idea of keeping yourself pure until marriage. Media, video games, and movie are so full of the idea of sex. Just from going to a public school, guys were referred to as gay, wussy, or they are made fun of for not being a "real man". Girls are called hoes, whores, and sluts if they sleep with someone. So who wins? Nobody. This can all be solved by standing up for yourself. I hear so often that it is "impossible" to keep yourself pure. That is so false. I can proudly say that at 20 years, I am pure and by no means embarressed.

Staying pure has made finding "the one" harder yet easier because many people don't believe in waiting until marriage. However when someone doesn't believe in staying pure, it is God's way of saying, "Ok, he isn't the one for you." One day God will say, "Ok, he is the one" and that day will be filled with joy and happiness. While God is prepping me for marriage, He is also prepping a man out there. Until the day our lives cross paths, I plan to continue to pursue God to my best ability.

Late Night Frustrations

Tonight I lay wide awake at almost midnight. My stomach is in knots and my mind is in 3,428 places. Some days I wish that God made me different. I wish he had made me without all my health problems. If he did that though, I wouldn't be me. 

When people ask me what is wrong, what do I tell them? Normally I just tell them not to worry and I will be fine in the morning. By morning, my stomach will be fine but my stress continues. I worry about the next night. What will I do if I get sick? Where will I be? 

Honestly, I think this is why I really enjoy my bed. I'm in a safe place, I know that if I were to get sick my parents are in the next room. In most cases, I don't get sick at home. It happens mostly at others houses, hotels, or camping trips. When I'm not at home, I'm alone, and I think that adds more stress. 

Sometimes I think I stress myself out so bad that I force myself to get sick. Why do I do this? Why do I put myself through getting sick? Even when the doctors tell me nothing is wrong, I tell myself there is something wrong. 

God tells us in the bible many times not to worry. But I still do. What will it take for me to let go and trust God? To stop overthinking my health problems? To let myself sleep through the night without forcing myself to get sick? 

Speck vs. Plank

Today while doing homework and enjoying a coffee with a good friend, we overheard a conversation going on behind us. The ladies behind us were talking about the problems they are having with their husband's and then all the of the sudden, one of the ladies said in a fairly loud voice, "Sometimes I can be a really heavy drinker but I have kids at home." The fact that she said it like it was a good thing got me thinking. Does she blame her drinking on her children? Her husband? Does she drink in front of her children? Are her children young? 

It is times like this that I find myself judging others. Matthew 7 does an amazing job explaining what needs to be done in this type of situation. Verses 1-6 read, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plan out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. 'Do not give the gods what is sacred; do not throw pearls to pigs. if you do they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.'" 

Before we pull the speck out of someone else's eye, we need to take the plank out of our own, myself included.

Geek Alert

If you have never watched the Star Wars trilogy, I'm about to go into details about how it ends. Don't read on if you haven't seen it because it's worth watching. The Trilogy began with the forth episode and ended with the third. Confusing I know but here is just the condensed version.

The story of Star Wars is all about the life of Darth Vader or Anakin Skywalker. Beginning in the fourth episode we learn that he is basically the villain.  All through the last three movies Luke, his son, says that there is good in him. However you think all through the movies, how can he have good in him? Well the sixth movie ends with him killing the Emperor to save Luke and unfortunately he ends up dying while saving Luke. What's amazing is that through the last three movies, all we know is that Anakin didn't start out on the bad side. Thats when the first three movies come into play. The first three movies (episode 4,5, and 6) were released in between 1977 and 1983. The final three movies (episode 1,2, and 3) were released in between 1999 and 2005.  That a very large time span to not release a movie. George Lucas, who is a phenomenally screenwriter/director, did an amazing job introducing us to Anikan, who would later become Darth Vader. We learn that Anakin was born a jedi, and according to prophecy was "The Chosen One". The third movie ends with him turning against the other jedi's and turning to the dark side.  (Keep in mind there is so much more to the story than just this.)

Why on earth am I telling you this? Well two reasons, first off, I am in love with the trilogy. Every time I watch them I learn more and more. Secondly, there is an amazing lesson to be learned from Anakin. All through the movies we are told there is some good in him. However we choose not to believe it because of his actions. We learn though, in the second to last scene of the sixth movie that he really is good. He finally realizes what he has done and he saves his son and in return for saving his son he kills the Emperor. 

Sometimes it takes people a long time to realize that what they are doing is wrong. What is our job when they won't listen to us? Pray for them. Wait patiently in hopes that one day they will realize what they are doing is wrong. Matthew 5:43-44 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." The whole time Luke knew that his Father was good. Luke just had to wait patiently and had to love his enemy (Luke being a jedi and Darth Vader being part of the dark side). I know that Star Wars is a crazy example but I wanted to give you an example that has meaning to me. I also apologize if I just ruined the trilogy for you.

Thankfulness

As I was driving home from the house I nanny at, I looked up in the sky. Instantly I became thankful. I am thankful for the family who has adopted me as one of their own, who loves, provides, and will have a mini Star Wars marathon with me. I am thankful to live in a small town that is far enough from a big city that I can see the stars at night.

God always has a good sense of humor when it comes to his timing and I love it. I spent a couple hours tonight talking to the mother I nanny for. We talked about our struggles and how sometimes we just want to give up. She said that the thing to remember is that everything will eventually work out, it might just take some time. It was a moment that I realized that even in the chaos of school, work, and church, I need to take time and thank the people who have provided for me.

First off I have to thank my parents. Words can't explain how amazing they have treated me. After moving back home from college at the age of 18 and being discouraged the whole time, they have been there to support every decision I have made. Granted, I never planned on moving back home but as I have said before, God had something else planned for me.

Secondly, I need to thank the rest of my family. I have had nothing but support from them since the day I was born. They have attended every high school play, every birthday, and have never failed to make me laugh. Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving until we are all together in one room giggling about old stories. Personally, I can not wait until I get to spend the whole day eating and laughing with my family.

Lastly, I need to thank the family I nanny for. As of January 2014 I will have been their nanny for over 5 years. I couldn't imagine "working" anywhere else. The joy that they have shown me even in the darkest times has gotten me through more than I could imagine. Last December for the first time ever, I spent Christmas eve night with them and woke up to Santa's gifts in the living room. It was very different waking up with another family on the special morning but it made me realize that this isn't just my job, this is my second family.

There aren't enough words in the world to explain how thankful I am. All it takes is to look up at the beautiful stars in the sky to remind me of how thankful I am. God says in Psalm 147:3, "He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name." This is just God's way of reminding me of thankfulness, how does he remind you?

Relying.

Day after day I could write a blog post about how amazing my friends are. However one of the hardest things to realize is that your friends are human, and no matter what, they will fail you. This is a very hard concept to understand. We set high standards when it comes to friends. We expect them to be there when we need someone to talk to. We expect all of these things from them, but when they don't live up to our expectations, things crumble.

There is one person you should always lean on and his name is God. Somedays I have a problem going to God with my problems instead of my friends because my friends are only a call or text away. However, in Isaiah 58:9 it says, "Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here I am." No matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, no matter who you are with, God will always be there. Rely on Him.

The Story of Jack of All Trades and Sarcastigirl (Episode I)

On June 17th, 2012 I began my two month stay in Maryland. I would spend just over 8 weeks with people who would teach me what a friendship is.

When I arrived in Maryland, everyone who I had to work with had to create a nickname for themselves. I wanted a name that nobody had ever had. After long chats with my mom, it finally came to us, she said my name should be Sarcastigirl. It was perfect. What would be my superpower? You got it. Sarcasm.

You can ask any of the people I worked with that summer, I lived up to my name. However my name only played a little part in my summer. This summer would be the summer I would meet an amazing lady that would change my life. Her name? Jack of All Trades.

In 2010 I had met a young lady while visiting my parents in Maryland. She was my age and really loved Rita's. She was even kind enough to bring me one, even though she didn't know me at all. She truly had a servants heart. We would add each other on Facebook but the friendship wouldn't really go any farther.

Two years later we would be reintroduced and a friendship blossomed faster than you could imagine. During the 8 weeks we spent together we built a relationship nobody could break. As we made our way home from camp, her to California and me to Minnesota, we knew we were going to make this friendship work.

Now its been over a year since I have seen her. Our friendship is stronger than it has ever been. We know that no matter what, we will be there for each other. I thank God everyday that he has put this amazing, Godly example in my life. On days I am discouraged, she is there to lift me up. When her friends turn their backs on her, she knows that I am a set of ears to listen and vise versa. John 15:13-17 says, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit-fruit that will last-and so that whatever you ask in the name of the father will give you. This is my command: Love each other." These verses remind me so much of our friendship. A true friend will stand up for you. The last sentence says everything. To have a friendship you must love each other.

I want to leave you thinking about your current friendships. Would you lay down your life for you friend? Do your friends discourage you or tear you down? Do you love each other?  In December of 2013, Jack of All Trades and Sarcastigirl will be reunited. Distance doesn't make friendships any easier,  but with God, he makes it possible to have a friendship no matter the distance.

Rest.

Do you ever have one of those days when you just wish you could go back to bed and start over? Then you realize that its only three o'clock and you still have more than half a day left? That was today.

Normally I leave for school around 8am. Today I left at 7am because I have to work on an in-class project before the class. Being a commuter, I either have to go into school before class or stay after and honestly, who likes staying after class? Not me.

I was almost to school when I ran a red light. I didn't think anything of it because the car behind me also went through. So, I thought I was safe. Well, just my luck a Police was sitting in the turn lane and basically shook his pointer finger at me to show me that he saw that. It made me instantly sick to my stomach. Bless his heart he didn't follow me, I owe him.

Well being that I had to be on campus meeting someone at 8, I parked where I normally park and went to my classes. Come 3 o'clock I get out to my car to find a delightful parking ticket on my car. State law says you have to be 20 feet away from all sidewalks, well I was 9 feet from the sidewalk. Praise the Lord the ticket was only $20. That's still $20 I will have to work for. Lesson learned.

Well as many know, I am also a full-time nanny on top of going to school. So, when I am done with school I go straight to work everyday. Today while the youngest was at dance, I went and picked up the middle one to get him out of the house for an hour. As we headed out of the driveway a car started following us. Sure enough by the time we were halfway to our house I realized that they weren't just following me, they were throwing either pennies or little rocks at all the parked vehicles on the road. As I rolled my windows down, I heard little "tings" and "pings" of little, solid items hitting vehicles. They continued to do it to all the cars down my road. Let's just say, the Sheriff's office was on it.

After today, I really hope that tomorrow is a better day. I could really use a day without anything to do with the police. But I will say, I have a huge amount of respect for all of our Policemen and Sheriffs. They deal with a lot of stuff around my hometown. Thank you for all you do. It is very appreciated.

I think it is time to actually go to bed and wake up tomorrow with a better attitude and a refreshed mind. Life can be crazy sometimes, and trust me I understand, but what we need to realize is that no matter what kind of day we have had, at the end of the day, God promises us rest. Matthew 11:38 says, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." God doesn't break his promises.

Upside Down

Do you ever wake up and think about how great your day is going to be, then all of the sudden your world is flipped upside down? My day was like that.

Over the past 5 years I have been adopted into a family from my church. They treat me like their own and have helped me through more times than I can count. Three weeks ago one of the girls from the family that adopted me was turning 3. We all gathered at her families home to celebrate. While there I met a guy about 30 years old who was engaged to be married to this girls aunt. He has 3 children and one that should be here any day. It's a very exciting time for this family.

Today I received news that he passed away. He was in a work related accident. He is only 30, had 3 kids and one on the way, and a fiancé. I ask that you pray for his children, his fiancé, and all of his family.

It's days like today that really make me think if I'm actually where I want to be in life. There is no way to know when our life is going to be pulled out from underneath us. Make today count.

Goodbye?

One of the hardest things to do is say goodbye, whether it is to someone or something. This past weekend my Family and I spent the majority of the weekend cleaning out our old toy room. With my brother and I being 17 and 20, we just thought it was time to go through all of our childhood toys.

Between my Brother and I we had two full toy-boxes, 8 full rubbermaid containers, and 6 boxes. My Brother got all of his stuff that he wanted to keep to fit into his toy-box and then one extra rubbermaid. His keepsakes were his hotwheels track and cars, his Darth Vader helmet, and legos. It was amazing to see some of the things he said goodbye to. For example, he has a bunch of finger skateboards, and he donated all two bins that were full. The next day it was my turn.

As we started sorting through all my dolls, my Mom and I came to realize that the only doll I had ever really taken care of got lost in our move 8 years ago. It was a sad moment but I think it was better that it got lost 8 years ago rather than right now. It would have been something very difficult to say goodbye to. We then sorted through all my legos. Keep in mind, I had only three or four sets, so they all fit in a small ziploc bag. Where as my Brother, his would barely fit in two bins. My legos mostly consisted of girls at the beach, or Hermione's potion class set from Harry Potter. Nothing like a Millennium Falcon or anything. (Yes, my Brother has the Millennium Falcon and is very proud of it.)

We started sorting through all my stuffed animals. I managed to go from a whole three totes, down to a small grocery bag. However, as we were going through them, it started to bring back memories. One of the dogs for example, I got when we went to visit my Great Grandmother. One of the bears, I got as part of my Easter basket one year. However the most meaningful thing I found all day was my Cabbage Patch kid Rattle baby. You are probably thinking, those babies had a rattle in the head and she is almost 21 and keeping it? Well, let me explain. When all four of us Grandkids were born, our Grandparents all got us a doll. Still today, we all have ours, and we still call them by their names: Ralphie, Matthew, Ally, and Luther. It is something that has more meaning than any of my other toys. I will never have a toy better than Ally. 

The final thing we sorted was my Barbies. Let me just say this, my daughter will never be allowed to play with Barbies. She can have a doll house and a big kitchen, but no Barbies. They will stay at Grandma's house. As an only granddaughter, I was overly spoiled with Barbies. I have so many that they barely fit into an extra-large hefty bag. It blew my mind how many I had. Quite frankly, it was ridiculous. 

All together, we donated more than 60 puzzles, more than 20 board games, three large garbage bags of stuffed animals and dolls, four large boxes of toys, and we still have three more crates to donate when we find the time. As we made the 1 mile drive to donate our stuff, it almost felt like I was saying goodbye to my childhood memories. Yet, at the same time, it was a relief to finally be able to say goodbye to such a big part of my childhood. 

My all time favorite Disney movie growing up was Peter Pan. The idea of never growing up and always staying as a kid, seemed the perfect plan. Is that reality though? Personally, inside I will always be a kid. Come Christmas, I won't be able to sleep through the night and I'll be up at the crack of dawn.  In the story of Peter Pan, the Author, J.M. Barrie writes, "Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting." Instead of saying goodbye to my childhood toys, I want to think of giving my childhood toys to others to make their own childhood memories.  

It doesn't take toys for me to remember my childhood. I will always be a child at heart. I will never grow up. 

Are you a "Wreck"?

It blows my mind how smart kids are.

Today at church, my 8, 9, and 10 year old boys were learning about good versus bad. We mostly talked about how it is impossible for us to be perfectly good. We are full of sin which is bad. However, when we become a Christian, God takes away all of our sin making us in his eyes good. Yet, we still have sin.

To help my boys understand this concept better, I asked if someone could think of one example. As soon as I finished the question, two hands shot up. I called on one of the boys and he wanted to share the example of Wreck-It Ralph. He began to say one of Ralph's lines in the movie. As he began to read the line from memory, the other boy jumped in and said it out loud with him. It was the exact same example the other boy was going to give. First of all, if you haven't seen Wreck-It Ralph, I highly encourage you to see it. It really makes you think. Secondly, I want to share what the boys said. Wreck-It Ralph says the line, "I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

The fact that these two boys knew this line was amazing. I wanted them to realize that us humans, are not good. We are bad. Look back at the quote though, especially the last part. That is what God wants. He wants us to be ourselves, but he always wants us to strive to be good. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 says, "9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." This is exactly what Ralph was saying and meaning.

If an 8 and 10 year old can realize this, so should we. It's amazing how much kids know. They teach me far more than I teach them. I thank God for the 12 of them everyday. I am beyond blessed.

What a Waste

Have you ever taken a class in college or high school thinking that you will use that information in everyday life? Isn't that why you take the classes you take? At $259.60 a credit, my three credit class costed me about $778.80. I am officially half way done with this class but these next few weeks are going to be a test of my patience.

When looking at classes to take for this semester, I still needed to fill a diversity credit. There were so many options but the one that really stuck out to me was Special Education in the Community. I figured since I had experience in this field that this class wouldn't be too bad. I was wrong.

One week in, I knew I had made a huge mistake. Out of my classroom of 40 students, I was one of two students that wasn't an Education major. I have never had any interest in being a teacher but the reason I wanted to take this class was because I wanted more information on people with disabilities in the community. Now that we are officially half way done with the class, so far I have learned that I made the perfect decision to not be a teacher. The challenge the teachers in my class are going to go through is going to take patience, lots of patience.

My goal at this point is to finish this class with an A, which is totally possible, and to stop getting frustrated that I just wasted $778.80. Is the money that I spent on this class really wasted? I truly hope not but unless we magically start learning about people with disabilities throughout the community, it looks like it might have been a waste. Nobody wants to waste money, and especially they don't want to waste time.

Take a few seconds and examine where you are in life and ask yourself if you are wasting any money anywhere or if you are wasting your time with a pointless chore, or job. If you or others are personally not gaining anything by what you are doing, really ask yourself if that is what you should be doing. Don't waste your time, its limited.

Medical Mystery

When I was 10 years old, I spent the weekend at my Grandparents house down in the cities. For dinner we had hotdogs and later that night I started to feel sick. I ended up vomiting up the hotdog that I had eaten earlier in the night. The next day I woke up feeling just fine. We went about our day like nothing had happened the night before. A few weeks later I ate a salami sandwich with lettuce, mayo, and mustard. Again, that night I ended up vomiting. Once again, we didn't think anything of it. A few weeks later, I had hotdogs again for dinner, and I'm sure you could guess, but I got sick that night. We decided to talk to a doctor after this was happening a few times a week. The doctor said it was probably acid reflux. So they put me on a small pill that I took before bed. They also decided that it might have had something to do with the nitrites in processed meat so they told me to stop eating processed meat. Within a week, it proved to not work as I kept getting sick. We decided to try a nausea pill after that but that didn't work either. 

For the next few years, the symptoms weren't as often but they were still occurring. When I was 16, I started getting sick every night. I started losing weight and it was getting to the point that none of my clothes were fitting. We said enough is enough and we headed back into the clinic. This time they decided to run some blood tests and still nothing. They sent me back home and said just stay away from all meat since they thought that might be what is getting me sick. I kept getting sick and it started putting a damper on my after school activities, my schoolwork, my grades, and my social sleep. If I was home, I was normally sleeping. After continuing to get sick, we went back in. They decided to check and make sure that everything was normal with my stomach and my intestines. I had a CT scan done on my whole abdomen to check for cancer and praise the Lord it came back completely clear. So, they decided to run some more tests and this time they saw that my thyroid levels were zero. My left thyroid basically stopped working and my right thyroid was barely giving off any hormones. They decided to do an ultrasound on my neck to make sure that my thyroid was in good condition and everything appeared normal. They put me on some thyroid medication and slowly I started perking up again. I didn't miss as much school, my grades were going up, and I was able to make it to after school practices. Because of my thyroid problems, I still have to go to the doctor once a year to make sure that my thyroid hasn't shut down again. 

Unfortunately, we thought that maybe my thyroid was causing me to get sick, we were wrong.  I was still getting sick and the longer and longer it went on the more frustrating it got for us and the doctors. Finally my doctor said that he has tried everything he can and that I needed to head to a specialist. Sadly the wait to see a specialist at the hospital he suggested had a three month wait, and we couldn't afford to wait three months. Thankfully we found a wonderful doctor in the cities that only had a two week wait. Two weeks later we prepared ourselves to leave this appointment with no answers, but we were wrong. My new doctor decided that we needed to do a endoscopy because she thought that maybe there was something actually in my stomach that was causing me to get sick. First of all I do not wish an -oscopy anything on anyone. Lastly, prep alone is rough enough. Thankfully, the procedure went really well I didn't remember anything. The bad part, they didn't find anything. Also in the time from my first appointment and my endoscopy they put me on an extremely heavy dose of sleep medication. When we went to our follow up appointment she said there is good news and bad news. The good news, they didn't find anything. The bad news, they didn't find anything and the current medication they had me on had awful long term affects. She discussed how there is this new thing they are finding in young teens that is called intestinal migraines. There is no known cause, they just happen when they want. There is also no known treatment for them so there is no point in being tested for them because even if they told me that is what it is, they can't do anything for me. The doctor ended the appointment by saying that she was going to put me on an as-needed medication so if I ever feel sick, I should take it. Since June 2013, I have only had four episodes which is very good compared to the previous years. 

What happens now? I just get sick the rest of my life? Well the answer to that question is yes. Until they come up with new tests or medications, there really is nothing I can do. Since seeing my specialist, I have cut out all processed meats from my diet and I watch what I eat. In one way it is a blessing because for the most part my weight stays very normal, on the flip side if we go out to eat or to someone else's house, I can't normally eat the main dish. I have learned to stay away from highly processed foods like certain cookies, certain frozen meals, and many kinds of pizza. I have learned to really love fruits, vegetables, and different dairy products. I still struggle with getting my full protein intake but sometimes just eating a big, fresh steak will do the job. 

Until next time,

The Medical Mystery

My "Crazy Legs"

If you would have told me three years ago that I would be best friends with a Puerto Rican with cerebral palsy from Queens, New York, I probably would have laughed in your face.

In June of 2011, just 17 after I graduated high school my eyes would be opened. Coming from a mostly white community, my world was about to be completely flipped around. I moved out to a camp in Maryland for 8 weeks with my family and there I met people of every race, from every culture, religion, etc. There was a 16 year old working at camp that summer that was given the nickname, "Crazy Legs" because he has cerebral palsy. At first I was taken back by this situation. Isn't his nickname just making fun of him? He would also tell the people he worked with pretend stories of why his legs were the way they were. During the 8 weeks I spent in Maryland, I didn't really get to know him. It was almost like I didn't understand his logic on his nickname or his situation. 

Exactly one year later, my family and I went back to Maryland to spend another 8 weeks there. This time I was in Maryland I spend time with him and two others that both lived on opposite sides of the United States. We would go get Rita's, have deep chats about life, and just laugh with each other.

These 8 weeks in 2012 changed my life forever. I learned that he doesn't let his cerebral palsy keep him from anything. Whether it is playing on a slip and slide with 50 six and seven year olds or going sailboating around the Chesapeake Bay, he didn't let his cerebral palsy to keep him back.  I think in the two years that him and I have been friends he has taught me way more than I could have ever imagined. First, he taught me that you should never judge a book by it's cover. Second, he taught me that no matter how God made you, that's the way he wanted you. Third, he helped me to understand that we all have flaws and the minute you are able to accept your flaws, they aren't flaws anymore. They are the things that make you who you are today. Lastly, he has shown me what an amazing friendship looks like. Whether it is five in the morning or six in the afternoon, I know that he will always be there. 

I couldn't imagine my life without "Crazy Legs." Whether I need someone to talk to about what happened last night on 'How I Met Your Mother' or discuss where I need prayer in my life, he is always there. If you don't have a "Crazy Legs" in your life, I highly suggest finding one. They are keepers.

Yellow Crocs

Today in my science class a student showed up late wearing bright yellow crocs. As he walked up to the front of the class to sit in his seat, there were plenty of people laughing at the fact that he was wearing wet, squeaky, crocs. A lot of people I know think they are the ugliest shoes ever and have expressed it to me verbally.  I personally own a pair of raspberry colored crocs. Normally, I only wear them to the farm to see my chickens or to just run a quick errand. At what point do we stop judging people for what they wear?

Yoga pants are a huge deal these days. They are too tight and revealing. One of my friends said she refuses to wear them because "it makes a perfect outline of your butt." However, I personally think they are the most comfy pair of pants I own. It is also rare that I wear my yoga pants out of the house but occasionally if I have to run to the post office last minute, I will just go.

We are hearing more and more cases of "baggy" sweatshirts being banned from schools. A few years ago, my hometown school did just that. I have 4 or 5 large sized sweatshirts that I love sitting around a camp fire in or wearing to bed.

Think about these three articles of clothing; crocs, yoga pants, and baggy sweatshirts. It is rare that I wear them out of the house, however if someone was to ask me over to their house and they say, "wear what keeps you comfortable." Well, my crocs are probably my most comfortable pair of shoes, my yoga pants are probably my most comfortable pair of pants I own, and my red, hand-me-down Wisconsin, baggy sweatshirt is my favorite sweatshirt. Imagine the people who show up to school or work with their "comfortable" clothes on. Maybe they aren't wearing their dress suit or their nice shoes, but what would you think of them? Personally I would instantly judge them just like I judged yellow croc guy.

Who are we to judge others by what they wear? Just like yellow croc guy was wearing his crocs, I wear mine. Just like the teenage girl at school who is going through a depressing time wearing the yoga pants, I too own and wear yoga pants. Just like the bully who shows up to school late, wearing a baggy sweatshirt, I too own a baggy sweatshirt. This world has to stop judging people. Myself included, needs to work on this. Let's be accountable for each other and quit judging each other starting today.

To Pretend or To Not Pretend.

Why should someone ever have to "pretend like it never happened?"I have heard this phrase so much lately. When something doesn't go the way it is supposed to, why should someone pretend it never happened? Once something happens in life, it will have always happened. You can't change the past, but is there something you can do to help you so it doesn't happen again?

At just 17 years old, a girl that I knew lost her Father after a long battle with a rare disease. Her father was a very strong Christian and we knew he was in a better place. Shortly after his passing, she found out she was pregnant. She now has a very adorable, energetic little boy. What if someone was to tell her to pretend like her dads passing never happened or just pretend like getting pregnant never happened? Its impossible. She has pictures and memories of her Father and there is no way she can pretend like her son just appeared. 

In August 2011 I met my best friend. After only seeing each other once and exchanging phone numbers, in hopes to hang out the next day, she got appendicitis and had to be sent home from working at camp. We barely got a hello before I was on my way home from spending eight weeks working at a camp in Maryland. I was very mad for along time at God for putting this friend in my life and then taking her away, where I would never see her again. 

Over the summer I was  talking with a peer of mine and she told me that she didn't save herself until marriage. She used the exact words, "I could never pretend like losing my virginity never happened because then I would just be lying to myself, others, and God." This made me realize that these things happen and even though we know it is wrong, we are sinners and we do it anyways. Instead of dwelling on what happened, we need to ask for forgiveness. We can't take back the past or change it but we can admit our mistakes and realize that we need to ask God for forgiveness. There is nothing we can hide from him. He sees our every move and every breath. We also need to realize that by pretending things never happened can hurt others. Once we accept we did wrong, we need to ask others for forgiveness as well. 

Toby McKeehan, also known as TobyMac, says, "Cause we all make mistakes sometimes and we've all stepped across that line, there is nothing sweeter than the day we find forgiveness." Imagine if everyone went from pretending to instead forgiving and asking for forgiveness. In all honesty, we live in a world of sin but there is no reason we can't help each other understand our pasts. 

My friend, with the son, has had many talks with her Mother about what happened. Her Mother has forgiven her. She also understands why God decided it was time to take her Father. She knows that he was suffering and has now accepted that. I have also come to thanking God that he put my best friend in my life for only a short time. That short time was just enough to realize that even though we are 2,057 miles away from each other, distance can't keep two friends apart. My peer has also asked her, now husband, for forgiveness for not saving herself for him. She has also started a relationship with God and in the process, asked for his forgiveness for her past. Let's stop pretending things didn't happen and start asking God for forgiveness. 

Willingness to endure.

Patience is one thing that as human, we all struggles with, some more than others, but we all struggle. I am the first person to say I struggle with patience. I can't wait to be out of school, moved out of my parents house, and be is a solid relationship. Even though I think I'm ready for it, God knows there is no way I am. I still have so much to learn. 

Two years after I graduated high school I learned that my friends sister who was 17 at the time was to be married that summer. She would be married 3 weeks after her 18th birthday. My heart broke for her. Now knowing her very well, I've seen the struggles in a marriage and I wouldn't put that upon anyone. Sure enough they are married now and are both still in college. What if young couples were to have more patience? I'm not saying that marrying young is a bad thing. I know many couples who were married young that are very happy 10, 20, 30 years later. It just makes someone like me wonder when they have only dated someone 8-9 months and they are married two months later. 

One of my friends told me another situation. She was in a relationship with a guy and the relationship ended on rocky terms. However even though they are broken up, she continues to hang out with him. Why is it that girls/guys do this? I did this when I was in my first relationship too. I know exactly why I did it too, I wanted attention. He was willing to hang out with me and vise versa. It wasn't until eight months after we broke up that I realized we just were not meant to be together. Sometimes it just takes time, other times it just takes maturity and patience. 

When I was 17, my heart got broken for the first time. Even though I was still a teenager, it hurt. I cried myself to sleep a couple nights. The guy told me in a text message that he was basically going to start seeing his old girlfriend again. I felt like I wasn't good enough. If only we had gone on one more date. If only I had... and I took the blame for the relationship ending. Looking back on this situation, I am thankful I experienced this at a young age. The guy and I are still very good friends and I thank God for that because the guy is an extremely amazing example of a Christian. We had to work through our differences and be patient with each other but we managed to save our friendship and I am beyond thankful. 

My senior year in high school a boy moved to my school from a neighboring town. Girls fell head over heals for this basketball player. A couple months into the school year my best friend started dating him. I was so excited for her. He went to church and built a solid friendship with me, so he quickly won my trust. However towards the end of the school year, I witnessed and learned disappointing things about him. While trying to drop hints to her that he isn't who he appeared to be, he called me out in front a bunch of people. For the first time I stood up for myself and my best friend. I didn't want her to get hurt and if that meant putting my friendship on hold with her to have her realize that the life he is living isn't ok, I was going to do whatever it took. After months and months of praying for her, she came to realize that they were not meant to be. Today her and I are the best of friends and I know someday we will look back and thank each other for the lessons we have taught each other. 

Without life experience it is hard to be patient. We have to learn from our mistakes. We have to realize that everyone's situation is different than ours but there is no reason to remind each other that it is ok to be patient. There is no harm in praying for each other or with each other. We just have to remember that sometimes we have to let others make mistakes and learn the lesson for themselves. I highly encourage anyone who is struggling with patience, whether you are in a relationship or not, to look at 1 Corinthians 13. It is the chapter in the Bible that focuses on love. The beginning starts by saying if you don't love, you are nothing. Later on in the chapter it clearly says that love is patient. When you are ready, God will put your soul mate in your life. Don't rush to meet your soul mate. Be patient. 

A Persian poet once wrote, "Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy." Maybe the difficult part for you is starting over in a relationship or ending the relationship you are in because you know it's not where God wants you or maybe it being patient with a friend who is in a rough relationship. Be patient, your time is coming.  

Curly or Straight?

Today I got the honor to host a manicure/pedicure party for junior high girls. When we finished doing each others nails, they started asking me about all my formal and prom dates. Well in the process, they asked to see all my dresses. While I watched the girls try on my dresses, memory after memory popped in my head, some good and some bad. However I think I'll save those stories for another post!

While all the girls were trying on dress after dress they said certain things that got me thinking. "I wish I had your legs." "Why couldn't my chest fill this dress?" "If I was only taller." Comment after comment was I wish, I wish. Granted, that is me at times. I've never been 100% comfortable in my body either. Earlier in the day I had a deep chat with a girl who is very dear to my heart. She asked, "Why do girls with straight hair wish they had curly hair and girls with curly hair wish they had straight hair?" After thinking about it for a couple minutes I told her that I think that is part of being a sinful human. I said, "It's jealousy." We really had a good chat while doing our hair; her hair being straight, mine being curly.

When I looked up the definition of jealous, I simply got, "feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages." Clearly we don't look at our bodies as "achievements" or "advantages" all the time but we should. I saw a post about mothers with stretch marks and it said "I'm a tiger who has earned these stripes." I thought that was the coolest way to see stretch marks. Granted most people do not see stretch marks as the perfect parts of your body but we as humans need to realize how worth it those stretch marks are. Because of those stretch marks, you have the best blessings a mother could receive.

We always want what other people have. Simply look at our culture, as of 2012 over 245 million iPhones have been sold. That number blew my mind. However, the minute that Apple releases a new iPhone, we are instantly jealous of everyone who has the "new" one. Even if it doesn't have a fingerprint sensor or an updated look to the applications, it still works fine. We live in a jealous culture. Nothing is ever going to be good enough for us whether it is clothes, cars, houses, entertainment, etc.

Well, how on earth do I end this post without you feeling like crap... Well in Romans 12:21 of the Bible it says, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." The word evil can be a big word but think about that statement if evil is replaced by jealousy.  Jealousy is not something that God wants from us as Christians. We need to overcome our jealousy and the first step to overcoming it is realizing that God made you exactly the way he wanted you.

So no matter if you have curly hair or straight hair, if you are tall or short, if your toes are long or short, God loves you just the way you are. You are perfect in his eyes. Make him proud to call you his sons or daughter. He is the only person who will unconditionally love you forever.

Traditions

What happens when a tradition doesn't happen anymore?

For the past 8 years, a family friend would have a bonfire/hayride every fall. It was a time for families from church and the community to get together and join in some fall fun. For the first time, I will be the only one representing my age group. In the past it was my two friends and I. One of my friends is currently in Spain studying abroad while the other is in Iowa for a college cross country meet. It dawned on me today that this tradition is done. It will be rare if we are ever all at the bonfire again. 

So, what does this mean for us? We are all still very good friends but I think this is the part of "growing up" that nobody enjoys. I'm starting to realize that what I did when I was a teenager probably won't happen as often. For example, it's almost impossible for me to stay up past 11 anymore. However in high school I could stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning no problem (I don't know how I functioned the next day).

This got me thinking that maybe some traditions are meant to be passed down from generation to generation. On my Moms side of the family it is tradition to pass down a cedar chest to your first granddaughter on her 18th birthday. Both my Mom and I have one and I look forward to the day when I get to present it to my granddaughter (I am in no hurry). 

So tonight will be the night that I pass the "snipe hunting" tradition, the hiding in the graveyard tradition, and the getting lost in the corn tradition to the junior high students so they can enjoy 8 or 9 years of the tradition before they pass it down themselves. 

Just the beginning.

As I sit here in my new Ikea bed, with a precious five year old sleeping on my right, while rain is howling around my house, it occurred to me that I have been alive for two decades. Where does time go?

Growing up in a fairly normal family, Mom being a teacher and Dad being an entertainer, I had a very normal childhood. Born in the early 90's, I would say that the lifestyle I lived was very normal. I graduated high school on time and quickly moved out of the house without a care in the world. I was going to a private school to study Medical Chemistry. After a semester in private school and having my financial aid dropped, I quickly realized that God had other plans for me. I moved back home and started commuting to a public school an hour away. As of October 3rd, 2013 I am a Communication Studies major with an emphases in Leadership and Organizational Communication with a minor in Human Relations. It sounds like a mouth full, but I truly believe this is where God wants me.

As far as my plans after I graduate, well let's start praying about that now.