My Year in Review

Ben and I kicked the year off in Vermillion, Minnesota with our friends. After dealing with a broken vehicle and an ice fishing auger that didn't want to cooperate, we finally got to fish in the freezing cold conditions. We didn't catch a single fish, but we enjoyed the company of one another. We also got to celebrate my college graduation with all my close friends from church! It was a long 4.5 years but it was all worth it!

Who had their taxes done in February? THIS GIRL! I was extremely happy to have them done and over with. I was fortunate enough to get a return and was able to pay off my car and put a big chunk towards student loans! It was extremely exciting! Ben and I also got to go on a date to the World's Toughest Rodeo with some friends and then a few short weeks later I got the privilege to go to my first Wild game! It was a nail biter and was definitly the highlight of my month!

I started March by attending the Minnesota RollerGirls with friends. Ben was gone for 3 weeks at training for the Army so while he was gone, Kristen, Lydia, Lizzy, and I decided to redo/repaint Ben's house. In doing so we managed to break a toilet and a gas line. Ben may never trust me to watch his house again...  At the end of the month we celebrated my golden birthday and I received one of the best presents ever, a Mossberg International Silver Reserve II Field Over/Under 12 Gauge Shotgun.

In April, Ben and I discovered we both love trap shooting. This is the first hobby that we both enjoy and we can do it together! We also spent a weekend in Duluth relaxing and touring some of the breweries along the North Shore with friends. We finished up the month by attending a life changing concert. Hillsong headlined along with Kari Jobe and it was absolutely amazing to feel the spirit move in such a huge stadium.

I will never forget May. The family that I nanny for was expecting their 4th baby and she was already an amazing miracle. After going through a rough delivery for both Mom and Baby, I was able to hold Miss Faith and look into the eyes of a true miracle. I have never felt so many emotions in one moment. She was a perfect addition to the family. At the end of the month, Ben, my parents, and I were able to travel out to Maryland and see friends. It was extremely fun to see everyone and we are already looking forward to going back sometime next October.

Summer was busy. It was full of trips to Taylors Falls, the Zoo, the county fair, the Minnesota State Fair, and camping trips. In July, we remodeled Ben's kitchen, as well as went on our first motorcycle ride with hundreds of other people. We attended Hogs of Heroes and it was extremely fun! We also went to the Isanti County Rodeo and it was stinking hot.

In September, I got to experience the feeling of not having a first day of school, which in all honesty was pretty weird. I felt like I was missing something. I got the honor to attend the Orange Conference in Minneapolis for an evening and it was so amazing. I left with the knowledge and resources to becoming a better and stronger leader. We finished up the month by going to an apple orchard and enjoying apple cider donuts, my favorite.

October was a month of firsts. I was able to represent New Hope Community Church at a Teen Challenge Church Fair, and I look forward to going back as much as possible! It was extremely exciting to be in a room with people who are on fire for God and are looking to be placed into a church. The next first was that BEN PROPOSED! I was extremely surprised as he caught me off guard one night after work! It was a wonderful surprise! The last first was that I discovered the Converse outlet store... In the future, that store is going to be trouble.

In November we made our first step towards making America great again! Every election is one to remember but I definitely won't forget this one. We celebrated Thanksgiving with family and of course, set up a Christmas tree. There were also thoughts of returning to school being thrown around.

December was nothing but busy. We celebrated Bens birthday along with a wedding shower. I'm still so thankful for everyone who has been encouraging during this crazy time of life. We just celebrated Christmas, which for me is always overwhelming. However, this year Ben made sure that he set time aside and I was so grateful for him this Christmas. He is the best present. We look forward to starting 2017 with another bang but this time we will be celebrating the year together as one!

Changes!

The last 56 days have been crazy and the next 50 are going to be even crazier. Ben and I got engaged on October 11th, and we will be getting married on January 27th. We will have been engaged for just over 100 days. Are we crazy? We sure are, but that is what makes this journey so exciting.

I believe that over time, we change. Sometimes we can change overnight, other times I think it take months, years, decades. In past blogs, I have talked about this but things continue to change and I want to document them for my own healing.

Touch is something that slowly I'm learning how to deal with. I have learned recently, thanks to Ben, I'm not much of a physical person. I'm ok having friends around the United States that aren't near me. I'm ok with cuddling up with a blanket alone. However when someone says, "Can I hug you?" My head says, "no" but my heart feels bad and says, "yes". Then I pay for it later.

Anxiety is a very complex word. It is defined as, "a feeling or worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome." Unease is the best way to describe this. It can be awkward, uncomfortable, and very difficult. This is how I feel after being in a physical situation.

I don't think this is a serious problem because over time it is already solving itself. For me, it helps to tell people. It helps to be real. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. For me, this is a no situation.

Prayer has been the biggest help. This is a problem that God can help me overcome. He is with me in those situations. He is the almighty healer. Even in the moments that I want to be alone and untouched, God has his arms around me.